Friday 31 January 2014

One Play and A Punk - Knowledge Is Great

There was a discussion going on in the field, the black referee signalled a time out and I began talking to my co-commentator, who nodded his head, "The Western Coach is a great guy."

On the field the referee signalled a kick off and I watched a man with an orange cap and shirt and dark trouser walk across the corner of the field, just then a flag was raised, "I think Western mid fielder just grabbed the Eastern," and he continued to nod his head.  The score was

                           EST            WST
                           =============
                             10          0

Taking the short pass the receiver turned into magic, "Short Pass, Long Game," the Easterns were on top of it. East were driving down ten nothing and the game continued, Zack Cuha was their star player, the game was being at the College of Canyons, Conference of Championships.
 Cuha made another stunning receive, there were 26 seconds left in the opening quarter.  The West were at the 10 yard line and another great pass they would be at the 1 yard line, and just then the referee signalled the end of the quarter.

"This game could go to the wire," I said, the West had a great line up and we continued to talk especially about Dawson,"What a great player, skill and talent, his speed is a weapon that is hard to ignore and had a great year for the Easterns.

In the mean time, the game started again and the Western had a touchdown, "Easterns driving down 10 to 6."  Chris Solano the quarterback for the Eastern could just pull it away, great player, he could do it on his own, just then Cypers made an incomplete on the field on a pass from Solano.

"The Western were looking desperate for the equaliser," just then Solano made a great interception and made to the 36th yard line.  Randy my co-commentator continued on the praises of Solano and I concurred, "He is a big guy and can run, the biggest find for the Easterns this season.
"There you go, Kahn caught a pass from Solano at the 5 yard line."
They made it to the 3 yard line on the next move, the Westerns looking worried, perhaps they could make an interception and move the ball the other side.  This time Solano was intercepted and they moved back to the 15 yard line.
"Another touchdown, and who is that, Nick Jones, a one handed masterpiece."
                         
                             EST WST
                          ============
                            13           10

As the game moved on, still in the second quarter, the teams went for a recess and the West were looking confident enough now, "Game Down to 3 points now."

Just then the Eastern coach came online for an interview,"Solano is very dangerous, big guy, and can also tuck and run.  The new quarterbacks in the college arena can run, this guy is 6'4" and I am sure he will put some beef on himself when he gets to college."

"I think, Randy, what they really have to do, is to get this game in order, the Easterns are really looking and good and over a period that I have watched them they have always maintained the advantage once they get a headwind."

"Well, Jake, you might have got this one wrong, see there is probably a chance here for the Westerns, you have to give them credit for carried this game so far."

                            EST WST
                           ==============
                              20            10  

And the game carried on as we continued to talk ................

I was ON with this idea of commentating, I like it and glad that I had got this opportunity to comment (http://www.knowledgeisgreat.in) for College Game, it was small but a great beginning, "Destination UK," my mind snapped back at me again, and I looked over again, I was getting more and more talkative these days, arranging money for the school was hard work, whichever school it would be, it didn't matter, I was just thinking this one through and I remembered from what I had been told at British Council, The Media School at Bournemouth University for the Radio BA (Hons) course.

"This One Just Went Down To The Wire - 6 to nothing"

Wednesday 29 January 2014

There Was A Time

I was thinking to myself, my life was an open book, I was going to get married to my sweetheart, we had traversed the world and not let a single thing affect us, both of us were working and earning good money. Life had never seemed better, with looming large office spaces and swank malls to go to, movies and chatting with friends, it was all falling into place. It hadn’t always been easy, work was dominated by politics and I had taken my time getting adjusted to this new company, “Taking Crap is never easy,” Vijay would say to me, “and you have to fight it back,” he would advice all the way to work and back, riding on his motorbike, “Isn’t this the Yamaha ?"

We rode for hours, all the way to Mussourie, I remember once and she would say to me, “I love this feel of knowing that you will always be with me.”

Work was predominated by a boss who didn’t know what was going on in the office, I hated all of them for bringing me back to company I didn’t want to be in, it was 2007 and I was thinking I needed to quit the job and start my life afresh as an entrepreneur.

Then things changed in 2010 when I met Vijay and he taught me how to fight back, he had been a gay for part of his life, and in those days gay sex and marriage was illegal, as we talked, he opened up.
“I have been into gay relationships, sex and otherwise, I like both men and women, what does that make me Geetanjali.”
I had this stunned look on my face, it had happened as he told me about 2 years back, the dope had got to him and this handsome dude had seduced him.  “Does it matter ?” he asked questioningly as we sipped tea in Chandigarh, it was his hometown and I thought to myself, “ I am sure nobody here in this small town knows anything about this.”

I thought and thought and then said to myself, let me just be honest with him and told him exactly what I thought of gay sex and marriage.
“I think its OK to be gay however I think gay sex is still dominated by criminals who use it as a mean to get back at people they don’t like, “ I said mildly, not meaning to offend him or any of his friends. “Last I was in UK, I was walking down from tube station and I saw this
huge guy and this tiny wimp with him, this tiny guy was being asked to pay up and since he didn’t have money he was sodemized.”

In 2011, both of us went to Edmonton, I had got a job in a software firm and he continued to join me for studies, as it transpired and this thing particularly makes me proud of myself, “ I allowed my partner full freedom to continue doing whatever was happening earlier.”

Edmonton suited us just fine, an open community with lots of people like us, I was straight about this in my head, this community suited us just fine, two years passed by, it was Holi in March, the traditional Indian Festival, the Indian community in Edmonton was out in full colors, spraying dry colors on each other,
“Vijay, you want to join me in wishing me Uncle and Aunty there,” I said pointing to the old couple that we knew from our stay in Seattle. Vijay wasn’t too keen, but nodded his head, as it turned out, he spent 5 minutes with them and then returned back to his male friends.

I was ill in 2013, and on leave for almost a week, ten days, this was the time it gave me to re-evaluate my personal as well as professional goals (http://knowledgeisgreat.in/). I realised that whatever I had wanted from this job had been saturated, I had moved from one stepping stone to another with this deep unsatisfied urge of creating something new, my work kept me busy and preoccupied but that obviously wasn’t enough. I was sitting with a friend of mine at one of the shacks eating some sweets,

“You sound very sombre,“ Shivani asked knowingly, she was a close friend and we had worked for Microsoft ever since I had moved to the US.
“It’s this work thing, its annoying doing the same thing everyday.”
“I am thinking of moving to a new line of courses,” she said waiting for a response.

“I think the new management courses make sense, Human Resource Development should be an
interesting proposition.
“Two year course and brings back fonds memory of our times in India, rides to Mussourie on the bike., the way to go,” I responded equally sure that I was on the right track.
“Don’t you think we could do with an Ethical Hacking course,” I asked immediately and suddenly I knew what I had to do get out of this rut.

She and I started looking at the Ipad, browsing for courses and as it turned out, there was one in Edmonton as well, Edmonton CEH Ethical Hacker Training Centre, we were impressed and started calling, right then Shivani stopped me and pointed out,

Queen's University of Belfast's Centre for Secure Information Technologies (CSIT). CSIT, a GCHQ accredited Academic Centre of Excellence in Cyber Security Research,.”

I jumped on it, it was going to be tough decision, maybe a change of jobs and then Vijay would have to move out of his too and we could do with this two year hiatus from US, I had been told that UK was a pretty pretty country. “We are On,” said Shivani and the next 6 months were going to be spent thinking of ways to make this work.
“When Life Turns Up A Lemon, Just Reverse It.”

Monday 27 January 2014

Got It Right Punk

I was sitting in this call centre and thinking to myself, "damn, when does this shift get over?" and this was a daily routine, get to work at 10 pm and finish the 9 hour shift and get back at 8am.  After that there was dull stupor induced by alcohol and cigarettes, I was happy with my life, there was money, "The call centre pays well," mom had said with a wry smile on her face and there were friends to make, parties kept me busy on weekends.

"Hello, how may I help you?" I snapped back at the Avaya phone
as another caller called in, this time it had to do with a bank loan, "I have been paying my EMI's regularly and yet I still get charged a very high interest rate, you people are cheating me and this bank is no good" he had said with anger in his voice.
"Sir, could you give me your Loan Account No. or a Name followed by your date of birth," I said softly, I had been taught well and Snigdha had always warned me, 

                   "Never show sympathy or disdain, just empathize."

The caller gave me his account number and I tapped into my application on the screen and the history popped up on the screen, the Loan Amount, the EMI history, market credibility, the amount in the bank account and ET all.  My training had prepared me to scan this information in a few seconds and assimilate and then prepare for my next question, "I suppose this is a 100,000 dollar loan," I spoke rapidly as I verified all the information that was with me, "Keep it quick and fast, this is data that needs no verification but we are still empathizing."  He said yes to everything and we started to go about resolving his issues.

I got home around 8 am that morning and slept like a log till about 4 pm and as I started to get ready for work, my mind was toying around with an idea,  I was a guitarist and a pro at writing songs, my friends looked up at parties to write special songs for them and sing them out, “Then what was I doing in this God Forsaken Call Centre !”
I took out my guitar and started etching up notes for a new song

Intro (Jab Mila Tu) :

E/---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
B/----10--8------10--8-----10--8-------------------------------------------------------
G/-----------9----------9----------9---7h--9--7----------7--7h--9--7-------------------
D/-----------------------------------------------10-9--7--------------10-9--7-----------
A/---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
E/----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

chords are C, G, Am, F(beginning), jab mila tu C Em F

It was a Hindi song, but music is a great unifier and translated it goes like this,

“ Like the Soul of a Watch,
  That Has Forsaken Time,
  Like the Sunlight in the Morning
  Is Separated from the Light
  That is How I am Without You”


I started to strum it and went into a world of my own, an hour went by and then two and then three, without a thought in my head except this song that I was writing for myself, my mind was in rapture and I was thinking
of this girl while I wrote, strummed and tested.  Love makes for fine companion especially when one is heart broken, creativity and pain, “tis’ I fine combination,” I said to myself, “Love Love and stay broken, that’s where your creativity comes from, man!”

I missed work that day, they were angry all these managerial staff, the CEO and Directors, it wasn’t for nothing that I didn’t go for work that day, one month from that day, I quit my job and started writing songs, its about talent and finding what you are made for. (http://knowledgeisgreat.in/). 

This morning I woke up and heard this advertisement on FM, “Go To UK”, the
best strummers are from around these parts, never miss out anything that we string out, remember Eddie Mercury, I still hang around these parts and of course, “I am too sexy for my Shoes.” 

The Royal School Of Music, just give me an entry ! .. So where is this Royal School of Music, it must be around somewhere, its somebody’s tip and I will get around to it this summer and with time I shall be amongst the best. 



 The realization that the plot of your life doesn’t make sense to you anymore—that although you thought you were following the arc of the story, you keep finding yourself immersed in passages you don’t understand, that don’t even seem to belong in the same genre—which requires you to go back and reread the chapters you had originally skimmed to get to the good parts, only to learn that all along you were supposed to choose your own adventure.................. From the “Dictionary of Obscure Sorrows.”

Saturday 25 January 2014

Get It Write Coder

“BriNg It On
      I Am ReaDy to faCe It
        ImPossible is Nothing.”

In this second article of mine, we talk about coding techniques and how to get it right when writing code.
Coding is an art that requires a diligent, methodical mind and the need for focus, coding is a meticulous activity, a single slip causes a 10 step reversal that can cause 100 hours to fix. It was
getting cold, last I read it was 3 deg and getting colder, She walked over to the fireplace, “A methodology was in place and now I just have to code for the project.”
I smiled inwardly and keeping the same countenance, “You sure you can do it ?”I was thinking of the times that I had tried to convince her and always found her going the other way, she did detect a smirk and countered,”I can do whatever I want to today.”  She stood up and challenged me to an arm wrestling match immediately, I agreed not knowing what to expect and I was at loss for words, I am a big built man and normally beat people at this game easy.

Group Photograph Coder
This is so cool, that coding part, its like we get to our work place whenever we like and take a seat and start writing code.  So I have this project on building snowflakes on to a web page, it is pure HTML, JAVASCRIPT, I look at the specification sheets and start to write :

<script language="JavaScript1.2" type="text/javascript">
<!—Here we set the JavaScript version! -->
<!-- This script is provided free at Lissa Explains it All -->
<!-- http://www.lissaexplains.com -->

<!-- Begin
var no = 15; // snow number
var speed = 9; // smaller number moves the snow faster
var snowflake = "snow.gif";

var ns4up = (document.layers) ? 1 : 0;  // browser sniffer
var ie4up = (document.all) ? 1 : 0;
var dx, xp, yp;    // coordinate and position variables
var am, stx, sty;  // amplitude and step variables
var i, doc_width = 800, doc_height = 600;

Note the difference in styles, now for the below code, some coders would write the two brackets “( )” and start filling up the code of the bracket next, “(ns4up) while for others it just a matter of writing the opening “(“ bracket, write the code and then close the bracket, “)”.

<!—checking for browser version and adjusting automatically -->
if (ns4up) {
doc_width = self.innerWidth;
doc_height = self.innerHeight;
} else if (ie4up) {
doc_width = document.body.clientWidth;
doc_height = document.body.clientHeight;
}
Now in the same above code, see how the variables are named, there are conventions for setting this, you could write for example doc_width, or doc_Width or Doc_width as the variable name.
dx = new Array();
xp = new Array();
yp = new Array();
am = new Array();
stx = new Array();

Arrays are software code that can store numbers just like mathematical arrays.  Below is how we populate arrays by setting a FOR loop by incrementing “i “

sty = new Array();
for (i = 0; i < no; ++ i) { 
dx[i] = 0;                        // set coordinate variables
xp[i] = Math.random()*(doc_width-50);  // set position variables
yp[i] = Math.random()*doc_height;
am[i] = Math.random()*20;         // set amplitude variables
stx[i] = 0.02 + Math.random()/10; // set step variables
sty[i] = 0.7 + Math.random();     // set step variables
if (ns4up) {                      // set layers
if (i == 0) {
Just as I was going to write more on the below document.write function, she popped into the  office,”Got time for a cuppa coffee.” I immediately agreed and walked with her to the vending machine, “Damn Machine always has me stumped, sometimes the tea gives out coffee and also the other way around,” she said,”You handle this and I will get us some cookies,”she walked over to the counter, while I fiddled around with the machine still trying to get the document.write function into my head.  It was DHTML and the document.write always wrote to the page what was presented to it at the position specified by the code.  I looked left and it said coffee, I pressed it at the exact centre and a stream of coffee flowed into the cup, there was this sign saying, I figured, “COFFEE,” that was smudged and that is why she sometimes got tea instead of coffee.  We sat down for a cup of coffee with the cookies, I had settled into a rhythm and sipped my coffee quickly waiting to get back to the work station.

<!—Writing the Layers -- >
document.write("<layer name=\"dot"+ i +"\" left=\"15\" ");
document.write("top=\"15\" visibility=\"show\"><img src=\"");
document.write(snowflake + "\" border=\"0\"></layer>");
} else {
document.write("<layer name=\"dot"+ i +"\" left=\"15\" ");
document.write("top=\"15\" visibility=\"show\"><img src=\"");
document.write(snowflake + "\" border=\"0\"></layer>");
   }
} else if (ie4up) {
if (i == 0) {
document.write("<div id=\"dot"+ i +"\" style=\"POSITION: ");
document.write("absolute; Z-INDEX: "+ i +"; VISIBILITY: ");
document.write("visible; TOP: 15px; LEFT: 15px;\"><img src=\"");
document.write(snowflake + "\" border=\"0\"></div>");
} else {
document.write("<div id=\"dot"+ i +"\" style=\"POSITION: ");
document.write("absolute; Z-INDEX: "+ i +"; VISIBILITY: ");
document.write("visible; TOP: 15px; LEFT: 15px;\"><img src=\"");
document.write(snowflake + "\" border=\"0\"></div>");
      }
   } }

Now we define the function for Netscape navigator as well as Internet Explorer,

If i leave here 2marOw
wOuld yOu Still RememBer Me ?
For i mUst be tRavellinG nOw
cAusE There's tOo maNy pLaCes
 
I've gOt tO seE
...

Browse browse (http://knowledgeisgreat.in/)said the bird on the wall and that’s what browsers are for, travelling, visiting places, each with their own nuances and settings that must be adhered to, sometimes a max resolution must be set in the code so that the travel is not hazy and blurred or even distorted.  Finer points of life I have learnt ever since I started coding for various versions.  Still getting a hang of the Opera Mini though, had me stumped for a bit because it would go through the corporate firewall to places I liked visiting.

function snowNS() {  // Netscape main animation function
for (i = 0; i < no; ++ i) {  // iterate for every dot
yp[i] += sty[i];
            if (yp[i] > doc_height-50) {
xp[i] = Math.random()*(doc_width-am[i]-30);
yp[i] = 0;
            stx[i] = 0.02 + Math.random()/10;
            sty[i] = 0.7 + Math.random();
doc_width = self.innerWidth;
doc_height = self.innerHeight;
}
dx[i] += stx[i];
document.layers["dot"+i].top = yp[i];
document.layers["dot"+i].left = xp[i] + am[i]*Math.sin(dx[i]);
}
setTimeout("snowNS()", speed);
}
function snowIE() {  // IE main animation function
for (i = 0; i < no; ++ i) {  // iterate for every dot
            yp[i] += sty[i];
if (yp[i] > doc_height-50) {
xp[i] = Math.random()*(doc_width-am[i]-30);
yp[i] = 0;
stx[i] = 0.02 + Math.random()/10;
            sty[i] = 0.7 + Math.random();
doc_width = document.body.clientWidth;
doc_height = document.body.clientHeight;
}
dx[i] += stx[i];
document.all["dot"+i].style.pixelTop = yp[i];
            document.all["dot"+i].style.pixelLeft = xp[i] + am[i]*Math.sin(dx[i]);
}
setTimeout("snowIE()", speed);
}
if (ns4up) {
snowNS();
} else if (ie4up) {
snowIE();
}
// End -->
</script>
In conclusion writing code requires a very typical mind set, some are born with it and are naturals, others develop it through learning and practicality.  If it were up to me, I would do this Software Engineering course at the City University, London,
Software development is a central activity in the IT industry and a degree in Software Engineering at City University London provides specialist focus on the programming and development of large and complex software and with an emphasis given to dependable systems.
Programmes Office (room A302)
School of Informatics
City University London
Northampton Square
London
EC1V 0HB
United Kingdom
T: +44 (0) 20 7040 8406


The Bsc. (Hons), Software Engineering is a specialized software course with modern software coding practices as part of its curriculum.  They also offer a Lord Mayor of London Scholarships for Academic Excellence, sounds like I could crack this one.

Friday 24 January 2014

Father I Love You

Years back, Ronnie Haydel, started a drug store, to be precise, he bought over his Uncles drug store in the June of 1962.  When he bought the store, nobody knew that he would have this fantastic run for 40 years when he would run his, so called local drug store, against the best and the biggest drug stores in America.  Ronnie was the kindest human being ever, a great husband, father and grand father.  He was a family man to the core, a perfect one at that, his family is still one big cocoon, and his 4 daughters can fill up a library about the man.  Ask Martha, his wife, " He was ........" and she'd break up into
tears.  For 40 years, his drugstore was the hot spot for the baseball clubs to hangout at, and discuss politics and of course to buy drugs and other accessories.  "He didn't judge you and he didn't impose on you." said Dickie Faukier, a friend forever.  He would talk about growing up and old times, he had memories that went years back.  Rest in Peace ,Ronnie.

When I met Ronnie, and this was my first meeting with him, I asked him, "Do you enjoy your life ?"
He casually smoothed his tie, "Life is about unity between father and son, not literally, but definitely philosophically."
"Whats Philosophically ?"
"Two things stand out, Work that I do and the Words that I say.  Which is to say, you do what you are and you say who you are.  Father and son, words and work."

I thought it over and let it mull over in my head, for instance, and it came to me, the first thing a shoe salesman notices about you are your shoes, a cloths man would first look at your cloths or a mechanic would look at your car.  Ronnie acted out what he said, never looked back at why he did what he did for the community.  His whole way of life was to give back to the community in kind, give and help the community for what it had given him.  He who does not love is lost, Ronnie did what he had to do, and in everything he did , love was the nature behind it.
It isn't about what I want to do, but what our soul wants us to do.

Thursday 23 January 2014

Across The Pacific

Papua New Guinea is a small nation right across from Australia and on my last visit to Australia I took a flight  to Port Moresby, the largest town and the capital of Papua New Guinea.  There are a number of Australians who still have ties with this country, it is towards the northern tip of Australia and a large number of them relate to this small country, and would you believe it, that PNG is 6th fastest growing economy in the world.  Despite the growth rate projections, it remains a poor country, and strife torn country.

I spoke to Adam, a local resident of the Port Moresby, "You seemed troubled Adam."
And he did looked hastled, maybe it was the weather that day, or just had a bad day before he started from home.
"Its nothing more than a headache." he said before I could question him more.
Adam had agreed to be my guide for the 3 days I was going to be here, and we walked the pretty streets of Port Moresby, I looking more and more pleased with the Ela Beach Craft Market, it had everything a women could buy.  From local artifacts to junk jewellery to other handicraft items and cheap, my most expensive buy was under $10 and I was happy spending a few hours just browsing through this place.

Trouble had been brewing up, for sometime now, with heavily armed troops bracing for a civilian unrest.  Somare, the PM had undergone a heart surgery and was missing from office for a long time.  Somare was PNG first PM and was reeling under charges of corruption.  The contender was O'Neil, a popular leader who the parliament supported as well.  There was a confrontation between the government and the judiciary and it seemed unending.
Adam stroked his long hair, "We need to get a consensus working here, ever since we got independence from Australia in 1975, there has been no stability."
"Independence does not necessarily mean stability," I didn't want to sound condescending and so tried to stay away from the topic, but he wasn't going to let me.  Politics runs in every PNG citizens blood. 
"These guys don't know what we want from our country, these people who rule us," he looked urgently into my eyes.
"If I get my fish and rice at the end of the day, it makes me happy," he said, implying that was all the government had to do keep the folks happy.  "Who wouldn't give his vote to get food on the table every night.  These are basic securities that every citizen has a right to."

In my own country that gained independence in 1947, I had seen stability come only in the 80's and then some.  Forty years to gain stability sounded a queer figure, but the facts were there for everyone to see.  We had the largest grain reserves in the world, or atleast ranked amongst the top 3, though it was plain for anyone to see that the grain rotted because there were no warehouses to store the grain safely, in this country it was easier for the rat to eat grain for free but they wouldn't give the humans that grain even if it had to rot.  The similarities between the two nations were striking though PNG was just beginning to gain their sense of identity.  It was a fabulous trip and I enjoyed the politics of gain in PNG.

Who You Gonna Kill Next

This happened in Pattaya, Thailand May 2011 at the million year stone park and Pattaya Crocodile farm.
There was this huge crocodile with its jaw open sitting in the farm and this Thai guy, Ramos, talking to the audience while he made advances at the Croc. Talking and talking endlessly to distract the crocodile.  After 5 minutes of talking to the audience he tried to shove his full arm into the crocodiles open jaw, the Croc snapped, and seconds before that the man pulled his arm out.  It had almost happened, a disaster.

"See this guy here, he is so full of himself," he had said to the audience.
"He enjoys this feeling of being on the show as much as I do, hahahaha," as he waved a stick at the other crocs. The Croc just sat there with his jaw open.
Inching closer,"Doesn't he look sedated."

And sedated the Croc did look, almost tranquilised and I was wondering, is this show, practiced for days, it must be, Crocs are normally very violent even when sedated.  But the snap had looked all too real, and the smug expression on the Croc when he had shut is jaw in a fast practiced  move, the menacing teeth had vanished just for a moment when the jaw had shut and then disdain look was back, he had lost out on a limb for dinner.  Believe me this was a full show, with the Croc sitting in the open not caged or jaw tied and the man was inches from the croc.  All the talking obviously had an effect, almost like the reptile was hypnotised by the constant hum of noise that seemed to be coming from very close to its ears.  It was an amazing show and I had my eyes wide open by the end of it, mind in overdrive and ears listening to this man talking in Thai.

The croc farm is one of the largest in the world with thousands of crocodiles both saltwater and freshwater.  It does occur to me that crocodiles are not creatures to be tamed and put on a show, but the famed buddhist
peace lobby that the Thai worship, Lord Buddha, is absolutely notorius in its pursuit of destruction of reptiles.  I have often wondered, and especially after the show, if there is something in the scripts that is against the reptile.

The Buddhist analogy of life is a snake eating itself and thus to infinity.  They teach that the individual soul is independent and that not slaves to the body.  Now that sounds so bizzare to me, imagine a snake eating itself. Not only is that unusual its also incredulous.  Even though I have seen a million photographs of this, I still find it hard to believe that Lord Buddha would have wanted reptile killing mammals as part of his entourage.  I have always thought of him as a man with highly advanced thoughts who abhorred any kind of violence.  Instead of killing reptiles the Thai should turn a vegetarian and abhor any kind of
violence.
Time to Change I think.

Wednesday 22 January 2014

Racing Cars - Knowledge Is Great

I waited at her doorsteps, somebody had to answer the doorbell when she opened up the door, it was a large house with a balcony and a garden in the balcony, "You here ? I wasn't expecting you."  Gladly I walked into the house, her Dad was still in the house, normally he went to work early but today was an exception, "Hello Mr C, I figured you hadn't picked up your mail," I said handing him some unopened mail.  She handed me a glass of juice and we moved to the living room to watch some TV.  Mr C was still in the den opening his envelopes with a knife when the phone rang, "Its for you darling," he called out and she walked to the phone to talk.

I could see her agitated as she spoke over the phone and then I glanced through the window to where the car was parked, there was a gardener cleaning up the plants, there were people walking to work, women with their toddlers, singing a tune to them.  I was still in my reverie when she walked over to me agitated, the spell was broken and I started to listen as she spoke about her break up and how this guy had just walked out on her.  Specifically speaking, there was more than what met the eye here, she was in tears and he was as cold as ice, I had met him once and didn't like him much, my own feelings for her were too powerful for me to like anyone who was romantically attached to her.

Apart from this possessiveness I didn't think he suited her, she was smart, beautiful and a warm hearted person who deserved much better, I think she deserved me more than anyone else, but then I was a smart Alec when it came to her, "Calm down, Relax," I told her knowing she wouldn't be listening and yet trying to tell to cool down and think rationally.  She had always been the rational one but ever since she fell in love with this guy she had started to fritter her mind away.

"I have to get out of this city," she said and we walked out of the house, on to my bike to a distant place in the forest that both of us knew well.  I had always been the wild one, tattoos and smokes, it suited me much better than coffee and cigars, running helter skelter in the city, crashing ATM machines, staring at women and not a thought about the future.

One day she had asked me, "What do you want to do with your life ?"
"Me ! I am fine just the way I am."
"Yeah, but there must be purpose and goal," she spoke softly now, wondering if I understood what she was trying to tell me.
"I think you should probably be a rally driver, train for driving, take lessons for the dirt track, I really love to watch you drive, it is phenomenal when to see you in your elements.  I like the dreamy look in your eyes when you ride, Nirvana achieved and it is the zenith of pleasure," she had continued herself dreamily.

My thoughts went back to those days when she would sit in my car and we would speed around the metropolis closer, I had pressed the accelerator and we had zipped passed at over 100kmph, she was scared but not stopping me.  We had zoomed across the traffic under the flyover and taken a left for clear roads.

"I want you always like this, a boy who just grew up to be the man of my dreams, totally in control of his emotions and in love with the machine that he drives," she had said back then and I knew today what she meant totally.

So if I wanted to be managing rally driver, what were my next few steps, first of all I wanted to earn enough money to pay for fee at a good school for managing sports(http://knowledgeisgreat.in/), the second step would be to find a school, race car driving was intuitive and yet it still needed to be tempered with a sound background of car mechanics and equipment and the third would be developing actual race track temperament.

I would be at the Sheffield Hallam University in the UK

What Next ? ... I had it figured out now

Tuesday 21 January 2014

Commentary - Knowledge Is Great

When we got over the nastiness,
If you like, the battles associated with the world of cricket,
He had this ability to fix problems,
And then became a great ally of Cricket Australia,
Which I think said a little bit about him.

It was all or nothing from here, I thought to myself, it was 2007, as I placed the next bet, this was a fairly large casino and I needed to feel this fire of having lost and then won everything back.  The dealer rolled the dice and the numbers on it tumbled as they always did, except this time I was waiting desperately for this special number to roll out.

"Three plus Two," said the dealer, and I just stared, my heart just sank, I picked up my coat and walked out, purportedly with my head held high with this sinking feeling in my heart that just wouldn't go away.  I had gambled my everything, which was about Rs 10 lakhs on this bet in the hope of retrieving Rs 50 lakhs that I needed to pay off my debts, life just seemed to get deeper and deeper in the same quagmire I was stuck in.  

"Good night sir," said the doorman, and I gave him a twisted smile and walked out into the cold air without wishing him, I looked around for my car and suddenly realised it was going to be a long walk to the tube, I had lost the car today as well.  With just a tinge of tears in my eyes I looked around for the tube station and got my day pass out, a day that had looked fabulous, looked bleak and very bleak now.

The night air was cold, the snow flakes littered the street and the traffic was sparse, as I walked aimlessly to the tube, I had no destination to go to, there was a wife waiting at home and I didn't know what was going to happen if I ever told her what had transpired.

"Hello !" I said as the mobile rang and "damn," it always did when I was in a shocked state of mind.
"Yeah, man, I am OK," I gritted out at Harpreet, a brother from far far away, as a matter of fact, everything looked far far away right now.
"Its Saturday night man, don't you want to come over."
"Look I don't know," I was ready to put the mobile down, I didn't want any part of this conversation, when a cab zipped by, missing me by inches.
"You jaywalker, watch where you going."
I gave him the middle finger and the first expletive that came to my mind, I put the phone down and continued walking.  

I had lost him and knew that God would never be with me now, probably had never been with me in the first place, "damn I knew little about this Godly thing," I was a hard working man and all the friends I knew were hard working, "sitting on my hiney," that never occurred to me, that there would be debts to pay now.  The smile on my face had been wiped out by one sharp hand of destiny and without a tinge of regret, "did I really believe in destiny," she had walked out leaving me with no purpose.

I turned around and looked back at the casino and stared at it, stared hard, picked up a stone and chucked at the window, it crashed right in the middle of it, there were loud noises behind me of people shouting, as I ran to the tube and quickly made my way to the platform and boarded the first train that was parked there.  Suddenly I felt relieved, I had let it all out and this was me, the scrambler, gambler and hustler, I would never give in to the depression, I would try again and make money again.

My memory were fading nowadays, but those days still not forgotten, 2013 had come and gone, I remembered those friends from the past who had tried to help me and yet nothing came from the past. I had walked into this lovely office in Nehru Place, New Delhi, there was an English Speaking and Diction class going on, "hell, did I really need this class," I had been asked by Pankaj and I had told him, "Yes man, you don't know how badly I need the money."

Commentary (http://knowledgeisgreat.in/) was not a popular profession but it was what I wanted to do, so I figured what better than a profession that allowed me to make money, travel and do what I wanted, but I walked out of the shop disappointed, it was a money making gimmick, not the kind of stuff that I dreamt of.  I was more into the Siddhu - Boycott debate,

"That was a Coot to the gooley," Geoffrey had said.
"You mean he got Kut in the gulley,"Siddhu had retorted.

I liked the puns and humour, the intricacies of the language and semantic, from Yorkshire to the streets of Punjab there was no place like home where they could decided on the language later and a bellyful of laughter to begin a conversation first.  It wasn't the end of the world that they didn't understand me at the course centre what I wanted to do, they just wanted to teach me "a e i o u," while I wanted to understand literature, the classic from the profane to the mass seller.

On a hunch I fired up a toll free number written on the advertising hoardings, it connected me to a call centre where the lady on the line put me to a university in UK suddenly it was London Calling.  I would find a school for this in UK,The Media School at Bournemouth University for the Radio BA (Hons) course..

"My calling, Their Calling, Whose Line is it Anyway ?"

Renewables Calling - Knowledge Is Great

You look at the river,
The flowers and the bees,
the water as it flows along the banks
the wet grass and all of a sudden you feel
"Oh yeah I forgot about this"

Renewables had been a part of my life for over 5 years now, it had been a journey unparallelled.  Five years ago I had been lonely and forlorn when I took this journey down to the Noida Expressway, I was missing her this girl who was special in my life.  I missed her so intensely that sometimes it tore my heart out, we had been happy and more so because we could talk for hours about the birds and the bees, the banks and brokerages, of friends and lovers and yet not feel bored.

As I drove down, I turned to the CD player, I always had a Jagjit Singh CD in it, and it started to play while I started to dream again, the fog lamps were ON, it was a cold and foggy night, during the day the sun had hardly peaked, through.  It was 2009 and I thought to myself, if I got this chance to change my life today, what would I do, "Iss Shahar Mein Har Shakz Pareshein Sa Kyun hai," translated it meant, "Why is every human being in this city worried."

"You are a Loser," she had told me.
"Hahahahaha," I had laughed but inwardly I was cringing, how would anyone feel when this one important person in your life told you this.  I had instantly got out this cigarette from my pocket and lit it up, turned around and looked at the traffic outside the coffee shop and cried a little inwardly.  I was too proud to show my tears, then looked at her, not listening to what she was saying.
"I could get out of your life right now, if you so want it," I said still puffing away.
"Then do it," she wasn't going to listen and for once I was adamant too.

I had walked out of the coffee shop, not caring what happened next, picked up a bottle of beer, "Don't," my mind had snapped back at me and for once I had ignored the warning.  As I sped down towards Atta Market having paid the toll at the Toll Plaza, the song still played and my memories were getting sharper and sharper, still uncaring and singing to the tune I had pressed the accelerator, laughing and enjoying myself, when suddenly amidst all this traffic and haze of alcohol, I found myself on the Greater Noida Expressway.  Not caring and not thinking, I had given up on the road map, it was probably my mind playing tricks again, when suddenly I found this truck coming from the wrong side, I was near Sector 129 and the crash happened.

Next morning, I woke up in the same house I had always had been, not thinking I walked to refrigerator opened a carton of milk, made myself some breakfast and in a confused state of mind walked over to my porch and saw my car still standing there, spic and span as it had always been, untouched and unscathed.

The next 4 weeks I spent recuperating from this tragedy, I had the pigeons and the sparrows, the white tailed Mynas chirping away, I would look at the position of the Sun, study it, and in the night I saw how the Moon and the Stars moved to a rhythm.  So if the Earth moved around its axis as well as move around the Sun what were the implications of a cold winter, how did it rain and snow.  It was a learning process and knew that what I was being taught was special.

So what was I thinking of doing and changing in my life, I could study Renewable Energy at European Energy Centre, UK, probably the Galileo Master Certification after all I knew it well, the practicalities of Renewable Energy, this course could teach me the technicalities (http://knowledgeisgreat.in/) of it.

I have been trying to get this message across to people for a long time, but I have failed every time I have tried to do that.  I just didn't have the words to say what I have wanted to say.  My whole life just flashes by when I think "Oh yeah I forgot about this".  Nothing you would say, well, I have loved the rivers, green grass and trees, even the mud has made me happy slipping on it and getting dirty but what have I done to retain these things in the form I like them.  Nothing.  I was expecting them to remain the same year after year but they don't.  It gets hotter and hotter, muggier and muggier each year.  The dust and particulate matter in the air has gone up year after year.
"So what happened ?"