Showing posts with label family. Show all posts
Showing posts with label family. Show all posts

Friday, 8 June 2012

The Cult Figure

I have always believed that my emotional independence comes from my lack of fear of loneliness.  I understand that is a huge thing to say, for instance I can go for drives all by myself, go to coffee shops and read books or work on my laptop on my own, even eat and drink without any company.  I am perfectly content in my way of life right now.  There have been times when I have not needed to speak to my relatives or close ones for months.  Haven't spoken to my parents in days now, even though we stay in the same house.  I am not sure they understand this, but I have my memories that I will deal with in my own ways.  Maybe today is good day to start a conversation with them, we shall after all talk about Mango Singh and the weather it takes to make him crisp and brave hearted.  My moms uncles were fruit sellers, did I ever mention that.  As a matter fact that is very sardar like, to do your own business and leave the thoughts of slavery of petty minded bosses behind.  Even though I have worked for someone all my life, I understand this thought of retaining ones freedom as the most important thought process in my psyche.  We are free birds, love to roam the sky, so my moms uncles opened up their own business.  It ran so well, that even their pets started having fruits at breakfast and as evening fillers.  And, then something changed it.  It was painful when uncle died, all of sudden there was nothing in Rani aunties family.  All the energy, the longing and desires went from the family.  All that remained was some dull memories of those moments of joy and laughter and paranthas with white butter for breakfast.  God !! how it pained me to see their sorrow.  If only I could comfort this strong Punjabi family with my words.  There were only tears I had and maybe they wanted more from me.  I had always believed that I didn't belong with these people, rural upbringing and strong, almost head strong clan.

Uncle was a cult figure, landed in India after the partition in 1947, built a business out of nothing but a few rupees.  So what do you do when you got to feed your family and got nothing at the end of they day.  You plant a garden of fruits, so if they don't sell, you eat them for dinner.  Not such a bad idea after all, no inventory to keep and all profits to reap at the end of the day.  Uncle till he died and it was in his late 80's was eating four paranthas cooked in pure ghee for breakfast.  Some say that he actually died because the docs couldn't believe anybody could live with the kind of oily diet he had.  But then rustic lifestyles had lots of exercise and manual labour built into them, so whatever was eaten got burnt in the rigours of labour.  Uncle was a wiry old man, not too large built but very wiry, like a coil ready to spring.  This fruit I call the "labour leechi" different from the "Meena Leechi", I mentioned in my previous post which is originally grown in Bihar, this particular one is dished out from the heartlands of North India.  Labour Leechi has a very distinct, loud flavour, juicy like the just rewards of hardwork.  Wasn't it Mahatma Gandhi who said that every Indian should do a little bit of manual labour everyday, well he was right, manual labour uplifts the spirit and yet grounds you to realities.  A truly emotionally independent thought.  I don't want to fly a Boeing 787, just give me bi-plane under the hovering clouds.
Anonymous, I am better, fly me just under the radar.

Wednesday, 23 May 2012

Its My Life

Have you ever had the experience of being told what to do by the absolutely most ignorant of people.  I don't want to sound judgemental yet that's what I felt when I was told how to manage my love life by somebody who was divorced, not connected with his kins and family and as few friends that I could count on my fingers.  There will be a lot of occasions when I have done exactly what I shouldn't have, despite knowing the suspicious antecedents of the people advising me I have gone ahead and followed their advice and nothing has accrued, I have only lost money, friends or face.  Take the instance of calling up people that I have had a falling with, why do I persist in thinking or calling them, they have played no significant role in my life yet I call them knowing fully well that either the call will not be picked up or there will be a another fight around the corner.  This is such a duh thing to do, and I think I am a reasonable intelligent person with enough intelligence to understand where I am not wanted.  Isn't it simple to understand, go where you are wanted !!

For so many years I have been following what people have wanted me to, their dreams, their desires, their advise and believe me even on what I should be wearing and eating.  You might say what "even eating and wearing" .. no ! I haven't done that ever.  Well, do you remember the gift that somebody gave you and you wore it so that the person wouldn't feel bad about it or the ill fitting clothes that I wore when I was a kid simply because there was no money for new branded clothing.  So clothes were inherited according to the sizes of the people who wanted to wear them.  My maternal uncles clothes were passed on to me in legacy.  Fabulous ain't it, imagine if my father hadn't told me about the incredible "softy ice cream" I might have grown up to eating home made "Ras Malai" and loving it.  Cultures are imbibed into us by our parents and family even teachers.  They make us into what we are and who we are as kids, and if we continue to live listening to their advise then that's who we are exactly, our parents/family/teachers. 

However if on the other hand we choose to cut off from them and choose to live our life on our terms then we surely are ourselves.  That of course is assuming that you will not be the first and you will not be the last in any endeavour.