Sunday, 6 April 2014

Two Snakes in Love

I bowed to the wishes of the Lord today and knew that there was no getting away from this thought that I was in love, the more I tried to get away from it, the more it came to me like a rush of blood in my head, like the waterfall that gushes away at the rocks carving niches and its own path.  I have been love before but never known this feel of having loved and lost and wishing that there was someway that I could get back this one who just flew away.  My life till 2 years back was a life of wishful thinking and hope, probably false hope, generated by giving in to people who thought knew better than me.  There is no better way to explain what has transpired, but to take a green leaf sprouting off a tree, and then look at it for hours, till you saw the texture and the veins that carried its life giving fluids and see them in full health
probably revitalised by the touch so soft and so divine that they would never know what had touched me.

I am sad and extremely so, the lamp that gave me life has gone, there is darkness all around, nothing today even matches the sorrow that I feel today.  I met her and lost her, isn't that a lonely thought.  Forget people who have forgotten you, there is nothing much you can do today, it hurts and it hurts bad now.  She says "why is there sorrow in your life today."
"Don't you know, I am just you today."
I just think of that brush and that lock of hair on her head, "I have been hurt and hurt so bad, that its hard to explain where it hurts."
"Forget, my heart, the pain is eternal, love will probably prevail, she will probably marry and I will lose my hope to live."

I put in my papers at work today, got back and sat down to think, its 2 am in the morning here and you know how fast the nights fly nowadays, I looked at the glass in my hand, ice and bottle of Chivas Regal, looking up to the ceiling, then at my laptop, and then decided what has to be done has to be done.  I have to get over her and ofcourse I have been thinking of moving on for 4 months now. Ha' what do I know about love now, nothing, having been pushed to the nadir and back to the nadir.  Love has a habit of coming back and repeating itself.  However much I want her, it will never be more than wanting her to be happy wherever she is, with or without me.
Two Snakes in Love and So We Had To Bite Each Other.