Sunday 12 August 2012

What Gives me hope

Choices make a dream,
The impossible dream come true

So I have been told I have to dream, and I did again last night.  It was kind of hard to dream normally.  I think I have stopped dreaming but yesterday was different.  I slept on for good twenty hours yesterday in the hope that I would get a good dream going.  Here's is what happened, around the 7 hour of my dream, I felt something knock in my head, and it was screaming like the scream of banshee.  Didn't realise what it was so kept on sleeping, then around the 8.5 hours found the shriek coming back, my mind was in a tizzy it was so real.  Wanted to get up and find out if somebody was actually going through this or was it all being built up in my mind.  But I didn't get up, after all it was supposed to be my dream day.  Slept for 20 hours and apart from the dream mentioned above it was soundless, not a thought in my mind even of my lover lying in her bed and ill.

Lovers and friends we have been for a while now, its not an easy reconciliation to know that the marriage that I had held so sacred when I got into it, I had always been "a one man woman", was on the rocks.  When I divorced him my son was like a lost lamb, he carted along besides me missing his papa.  Papa was no longer around, but who was around was this man around whom I wanted to build my life.  He was still married and yet as a friend found time for me and my son. Truly speaking my state of affairs at that point of time were really in a bad shape and I was sad and depressed.  I continued to work as I have non-stop for now well over 20 years.  This life brings only pain to me, if only there was a way to reconcile the differences between me and my husband at least for my son. 

Then came the break I had been waiting for, a job in the USA with one of the premier companies and that changed everything, my whole life that had been centralized around my family saw people moving in disarray as they realised that I would take the decision and move.  I moved to the USA to start a new life, it held all the wonders of a child seeing life in new light.  USA was a dream come true, no one knew me here, I could start afresh without the background to hold me back.  More on this later.

This life makes me lie

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