Monday 16 September 2013

These Thoughts of Freedom

The Grand Indian Wedding was on the cards, the guest list had been lined up weeks ago, "the elephants were ready and the trumpeters ready to rolls," Anjali wanted to come to the wedding with me, but there were other commitments she had for the coming Sunday, she was going to be travelling for work.  I so wanted her to come with me and see a real Punjabi wedding, we both knew that my folks, "damn I forgot to mention I was a Punjabi too," were brash, rude and extremely overbearing and that was the perception we both had always maintained, "was I a pariah then ?" I thought about it for a second and the answer on Anjali's face told me something, I had long maintained my isolation from them, keen on keeping them at bay from my life and thinking up new methods to do the same.  Weddings brought people together and though I had received an invitation, I was still unsure about attending it, my remarks on my cousins need for a psychiatrist not withstanding, "damn they had taken umbrage to it," I was thinking of not attending the wedding.

And so on the D-day, "for my cousin of course," I thought about what I was going to say, "and the thought did occur to me that I didn't know," and decided against saying anything, I would just go about it like a regular day and not set my mind to these thoughts, I had Anjali and Romeo to think about.  Romeo had grown up to be a fine specimen of the canine species and this Golden Lab was attached to me,"and very few had that feeling for me now," and he was just like me, affectionate and totally attached to Anjali, we made a fine pair when we went for our walk, "Anjali had a new job to think of," and she had been missing the walks to sleep more, I would cook her lunch once I got back from our walks and that's what I did today too, got up early and tore down to her house and followed a routine that I had been doing for days since I had made up with her.

My cousin had long maintained that marriage was for keeps, "like everything else in life wasn't," I just didn't understand his fixation with it, it wasn't the worst thing in the world nor the best and how wish that it was for keeps, when two people meet its always with the intention of getting a relation going, "humans are not cynical by nature," and the prospect of meeting someone new is exciting, but the thought of marriage doesn't necessary play on every individuals mind, and my cousin was fixated with marriage.  My advice to him had been that if he wasn't getting enough sex, maybe he should have changed his lifestyle, "wardrobe for sure," and go to parties more often.

These days I was in a "don't care," mode, lived for the moment and though got along with people well, preferred a long gestation period before I accepted them as friends.  My whole life had been treacherous and filled with misery till I had met Anjali and it had taken me long to understand the true nature of my relationship with her,"and her carefree attitude to life had helped a lot," when you made friends with somebody who understood their own true nature it was easy to evolve to your own true nature as well.  It had been a long four years during which I had evolved from a wannabee to a natural talent for relationship, I could well imagine where Anjali was in terms of her relationship skills, "and she was younger to me," but with a goal in sight I would carry on regardless, seeking her out every time I ran into trouble.
It Isn't Like I Don't Care, I Just Seek Nirvana.

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