Thursday, 17 May 2012

Its a Trap

I am very much a morning person.  Every morning nature wakes me up early to show me its way and how much it loves me.  There is so much peace and beauty that abounds early in the morning.  The chirping birds, the green sylvan swaying trees, the absolute bliss that one gets out of sheer [aloofness] and no contact with other human beings.  This feeling of "man and the wild" is blissful and heavenly like no other feeling I have encountered my entire living life.  Every morning I wake up and carry out my daily routine and to my surprise just as I am having a bath my minds kicks into overdrive thinking thoughts, of work, of people and other such activities that I might perform during the day.  Unimaginable but true that human beings cause their own [realities] and with each touch with other human beings or their thoughts our lives change.

This morning I woke up 5:47 and thats atleast 13 minutes earlier than I normally do.  As I write this I am wondering what caused my body clock to skip before time.  Did I sleep early by thirteen minutes or did the medicine that I have cause so much bliss that my life has thirteen minutes of supreme escape.  As I slipped into the bath my mind was rubbishing all such thoughts, and as I tied the towel around my waist and walked into my room it was still alright, till I realised somebody had hung a shirt I had thrown away 2 days back in my wardrobe.  This shirt was a few sizes smaller so why would somebody do the mischief of bringing it back and hanging it.  My mind went a few minutes back when I had felt the toilet seat wet because of spilt water and then as I had brushed, my toothbrush seemed wet as well like somebody had used it.  There was something going on and I wanted to know what and why ?  Its this imperfectness that causes me to [lose my cool] and I almost lost it, taking my temper out on the wardrobe door.   I had had [friends] come over last night so could somebody from amongst them, or was it just my imagination.  Last afternoon I had spotted that somebody had peed and left without flushing the toilet.  I should have been livid then but had just quietly left it at that.

Yesterday !!! .. oh how it affects my tomorrow or errr today as you may put it.   Yesterday, I had managed to somehow retrieve the situation with a very dear [friend of mine].  Thank God ! I didn't have to fight with her.  Under normal circumstances I may have got angry with her but then these aren't normal circumstances, every morning I have to get up and fight all the way with life.  I feel scared sometimes and lonely other times, I might be the only one who feels this way amongst this teaming civilisation.  I do love my friends and I hope that I have been [faithful] to them and continue to be true to them.
This life makes me lie and be deceitful.


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