Whore Whore Whore, they call us,
without really knowing the white,
Stranger than fiction, is my life
Forgive me because this life makes me lie and be deceitful
It is our life and we chose to do with it what pleases us. Its strange that not knowing the circumstances of ones life, people are willing to pass judgement on my life. To impose their morals on ours. I have been a whore nearly all my working life. From the time I stepped into my office, working for money, doing things for people to earn a buck. I should maybe add there, a 'decent' buck, but believe me it ain't so decent any more. I do things that are not moral anymore, I lie at work to people I don't want to. I am made to do this all in the hope of being an out performer. I am part of the team of a team of 10-12 members at a prestigious American BPO (Business Process Outsourcing), accepting calls from Americas to solve their technical queries on their computers and other IT infrastructure. Strange that I had to deem to take up this lowly, or seemingly lowly job, but I did. Stranger still that I was not willing to accept it as a profession, that I thought of it as something I didn't deserve. Did I really have to lie about this as a profession, to gloss it up in front of you, my friend, and make it sound like I was doing something else. When, really as a matter of fact, this has been the best thing that had happened to me in 7 years now.
My job is actually to keep my mind shut to external thoughts and speak what I to clients, intuitively without thinking too much. And it does come easy to me, I know this job well and I do it well. After all I had been training for it in the last enterprise that I ran for 4 years. But that's another story and has been told before, of Basvaraja and Rajesh and a few other folks that I met on that profile. Its a job that requires me to work in shifts, in BPO parlance, American shift. Start working late, not earlier that 5 pm IST and work my butt of for 8 hours for a measly salary. The strange thing about salary is that I have survived in far less than I earn today, yet I call it a measly salary. Is it really me, stooping this low working with young guys and gals, trying to keep myself afloat, while they work for a the thrill of it. They have their lives ahead of them, while I am probably just trying to hide from myself. Looking at all the gloss and all the high profile work places, coming from where I have, I probably don't have it in me to say no to anything they offer.
At this American BPO that I worked for roughly three years, I calmed my nerves and cracked the biggest test of my life. I had soldiered on for at least four years without any support from family or friends, and knew that I had to make it big in this job. Living a life that knew no luxury, a senseless, mindless existence, learning new things yes, but for what I know not. I had never wanted to work for a BPO, when it was first suggested in 2002, I had shunned the idea, instead choosing to teach and train. Then I topped the floor at this BPO and the floor consisted of some 1000 agents all working towards the same goal. To be the best. For one full quarter, I was nominated the star of the show. I still have the certification and plaque. It does bring tears in my eyes to know what they gave to me was acceptance and reward for excellence. Of course, it might also have been a reward for keeping my mouth shut and not responding to taunts about my past. I might be proud of what I have achieved here, but it does not take away the torture I endured during the course of success as also later on.
I was rewarded for being the best whore in town
without really knowing the white,
Stranger than fiction, is my life
Forgive me because this life makes me lie and be deceitful
It is our life and we chose to do with it what pleases us. Its strange that not knowing the circumstances of ones life, people are willing to pass judgement on my life. To impose their morals on ours. I have been a whore nearly all my working life. From the time I stepped into my office, working for money, doing things for people to earn a buck. I should maybe add there, a 'decent' buck, but believe me it ain't so decent any more. I do things that are not moral anymore, I lie at work to people I don't want to. I am made to do this all in the hope of being an out performer. I am part of the team of a team of 10-12 members at a prestigious American BPO (Business Process Outsourcing), accepting calls from Americas to solve their technical queries on their computers and other IT infrastructure. Strange that I had to deem to take up this lowly, or seemingly lowly job, but I did. Stranger still that I was not willing to accept it as a profession, that I thought of it as something I didn't deserve. Did I really have to lie about this as a profession, to gloss it up in front of you, my friend, and make it sound like I was doing something else. When, really as a matter of fact, this has been the best thing that had happened to me in 7 years now.
My job is actually to keep my mind shut to external thoughts and speak what I to clients, intuitively without thinking too much. And it does come easy to me, I know this job well and I do it well. After all I had been training for it in the last enterprise that I ran for 4 years. But that's another story and has been told before, of Basvaraja and Rajesh and a few other folks that I met on that profile. Its a job that requires me to work in shifts, in BPO parlance, American shift. Start working late, not earlier that 5 pm IST and work my butt of for 8 hours for a measly salary. The strange thing about salary is that I have survived in far less than I earn today, yet I call it a measly salary. Is it really me, stooping this low working with young guys and gals, trying to keep myself afloat, while they work for a the thrill of it. They have their lives ahead of them, while I am probably just trying to hide from myself. Looking at all the gloss and all the high profile work places, coming from where I have, I probably don't have it in me to say no to anything they offer.
At this American BPO that I worked for roughly three years, I calmed my nerves and cracked the biggest test of my life. I had soldiered on for at least four years without any support from family or friends, and knew that I had to make it big in this job. Living a life that knew no luxury, a senseless, mindless existence, learning new things yes, but for what I know not. I had never wanted to work for a BPO, when it was first suggested in 2002, I had shunned the idea, instead choosing to teach and train. Then I topped the floor at this BPO and the floor consisted of some 1000 agents all working towards the same goal. To be the best. For one full quarter, I was nominated the star of the show. I still have the certification and plaque. It does bring tears in my eyes to know what they gave to me was acceptance and reward for excellence. Of course, it might also have been a reward for keeping my mouth shut and not responding to taunts about my past. I might be proud of what I have achieved here, but it does not take away the torture I endured during the course of success as also later on.
I was rewarded for being the best whore in town
0 comments:
Post a Comment