Last night I had this feeling, a very imposing feeling that I could not ignore, it wouldn't go away and kept knocking on the door to my mind. Thoughts there are many this morning and I am convinced that last night I was just beginning to fathom the depths of reality. I feel free today, unencumbered by the bonds of yesterday, there is bliss within me, till yesterday I was shackled by the pain of loss and the ravings of my heart that are lost to me today. I am still stunned, feeling this immense surge of power right through my body, knowing fully well that a well tuned power house needs an open road.
Have you ever know love that transcends realms and boundaries, living beings have this immense capacity to love and love back in return, to touch lives and feel the joy of victory and pain of loss. We cry because we must when the loss overwhelms us, there is no logic in it except. Started the day a little later than usual, I had taken the day off, got up had breakfast and spoke to a few friends and then began my journey on the web. That's when this feeling had hit me, and it has taken me a full night to understand it, I believe today that "the feeling of possession doesn't even compare to the feeling of imminent loss or actual loss".
Once I have admitted this, I am touched by questions that trouble me :
1. What are my Values and do they stand up ?
2. When was the time I completed a book ?
3. I might have loved and lost, but did I learn anything from it ?
4. How do I sail the boat of my life and anchor it to the port of my choice ?
Beyond the boundaries there is a wish and beyond the wish is a dream that wants to come true. Its true that we take to writing because of dreams that don't come true, writing is a way to let the thought out of the system, a sought of an emotional catharsis that empowers us to dream of what couldn't be and give it another try. The crashing of a dream changes people and brings the realisation that nothing is infallible in this world and there is no guarantee that life would have a happy ending. Yet the feeling of loss is so powerful that it takes away the pain, for every single thing we lose, and mostly here I refer to this feeling of having loved and lost, we gain some important insights to our life, certainly personal life and professional as well.
The didactic nature of certain things make it impossible for us to understand true learning that happens when there is evidently no physical trainer. It is intuitive and takes the form of a personal guide, ever available for consultations. So if I have loved and lost, it is because that was the way it was meant to be, it is no reflection on my personality or self worth, and it might get critical to remain in my senses while the heartbreak is in process, to cry my relevant tears, and yet retain this ability to analyse, like an observer, far removed from the action and projected into the upper corner of the room. I must seek out and understand what I have gained from the loss, a unique dichotomy indeed.
Positive attitude and ample courage, will help me overcome.
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