Stay Crazy, Stay Frosted

After she died, there was only loneliness at home, I still feel the pain, its been almost one year and life seems to have progressed, and every now and then, when I think of having known her for 10 years, I realised that she got her purpose and cause pretty soon in life.  She was only 6 months when she knew that I was the guy she had to look after, and she did that admirably for the entire portion of her life.  When I was away, and I was away for good 1 year, in the year preceding 2010 she was with my parents.  I think she may have missed me terribly those years while I was in London doing the best I could to salvage a living.  Memories, as she would come in my thoughts and tell me, give her the jitters with their thoughts, she just wanted me.  I realised that I was the one guy who listened to her totally and predictably for her entire life.

Isn't that what all humans want, to be heard and thought of.  I am a contradiction of soughts, very much a part of the hippy culture that has emerged after like minded people have joined up into believing.  We believe in living our lives to the tune of something that runs, a rhythm divine, which keeps our feet moving and our mind to be active for the rest of our living lives.  I hope to have lived well without the trappings of the way traditional people live their lives.  That is but a small price to pay for having known all my friends.  Smoking and drinking is truly what we started of with when we were younger, and I carried on for the hypnotic trail for a bit.  The stupor that comes to my mind once I have lived up, is so incredible.  There were days when we would live in holy communion without even thinking of the rest of the world.  It is a very closely knit community today and we truly believe that there shall be a freedom of speech and life before we die.

I may die soon now, my work is almost done, will always remember Alan Watts for what he did for me, his thoughts and writings have been a huge influence to my life.  So whats in writings that makes us believe in all the love of life, is it the raw influence of words, or do you think it makes us feel like we are the commanding, unparallelled literate.  It must be something about the way he said .. hello or was it just the thought that before I go I must give to all those who deserve it.
You may say I am a dreamer, but I a not the only one.