Take me as I am

Its tough life if ever for the folks who know me.  I have climbed the highest mountain, been through the toughest terrain, I know how it feels to live through it all. Remember my times too well, it was the April 2nd of 2004, at the Kumar post, located at 7000 meters.  Was freezing, almost like -35 deg C and  still getting colder.  There was a war on here, and did anybody care down there, every single day is a fight to get my mind to the place I would like it to be, its very lonely here.  But then extraordinary circumstances always bring extraordinary people, and I have known a few in my life.

I don't know, having lived my life and a bit, and more positively than negatively, that in this country whether they believe in a truly homogenous culture.  I have seen divides based on cultures, and whoever said that we are not racist must have been stark raving mad.  We are the most racist people I have seen, this is a terrible feeling that even with all the friends I have I must go back to my culture to bring back me.  So what do I do, do I just give up my friends, and actually there is a realization that is dawning even today as I write that when tragedy strikes, and I know this in my heart having seen this, that my mind soul and body is deserted by everyone, friends and family and the friend that I truly have is my Lord.  God exists and I know it, I have seen him and continue to see him knocking in my head as I push him away.

So what if God exists, does it really matter, I mean there are millions of Gods in this country, there was Nanak of the yore and then it came to Krishna long before him and wasn't it here that even the thugs and rogues had a God for themselves.  Whatever about those whisky drinking Gods, wasn't it called Madira and Menaka's of those years.  Give me a bar buddy,  just take me to the best there is and I will be grateful, I wanna sing a lonely song with you stranger and jive to the best of the beats till the morning comes.
I know you, take me as I am - I am at peace now