Monday, 8 July 2013

The Perfect Road Trip

The journey began with a thought, Agra, the Taj Mahal, "wasn't it the place love was epitomised", stupid cupid stop hitting on me, love was the last thing on my mind, more like this lack of activity was bothering my "hiney", planted in one place for long it developed these red spots not to mention a few other things.  I was eager,"beaver be damned", as they come and decided I was going to make that trip this time.  Otherwise, I am a big time procrastinator and left on my own, have a "time on my hands, will do this later" kind of attitude.  The last big time procrastination I remember was conveniently forgetting, "to keep my wife happy".  A marriage is a full time occupation and forgetting "to procreate" is a recipe for,"The Princess Diana" Syndrome.

So I borrowed my friend's Tata Safari, its a remarkable fighting machine, and  it sure does  pack a mean punch not to mention a good, "package space", picked up my package, Shalini, from the office in Chattarpur, Delhi and rode off to the proverbial misty blue mountains, "never had been to Agra you see", wherever they were in Agra.  The car started to move superbly, and then I hit the, "So you think you getting ahead of me, huh?", typical Delhi traffic.  Shalini was talking like a princess that she is, "damn Diana again," I thought to myself and continued to drive slowly, it was painstaking getting out of Delhi, took a detour through Kalkaji and stopped to pick up snacks, she wanted fruit, "would you believe that ?" I mean who in the world thinks of Alphonsos' in peak North Indian heat.  In any case, picked up the snacks and moved on further towards Noida DND, the music was soothing, I like the kind that "3 Doors Down" plays and had it to a reasonable blast, the AC was churning out cold air and Shalini some lovely thoughts of To Do's in Agra.

The corridor to Agra through Greater Noida is called the Yamuna Expressway and is a 165 km stretch, six lane highway, and once we hit the expressway there was no looking back, I expected to do the stretch in two hours which is no mean feat, "UP is crowded", and travelling through it is a pain normally.  I love the idea of driving non-stop and fast, the Safari was in its elements on the highway, a mean fighting machine as mentioned before it can travel long stretches without stopping, I was chastising Varun mentally, if only he had thought of putting a refrigerator in the damn car, I knew I was cursing for the wrong reasons, "I was on borrowed time" and beggars can't be choosers can they ?  The scenery was zipping by, and my conversation with Shalini was turning into monosyllables, "huh me ? monosyllables," lucky Shalini !, she decided to concentrate on the music and put in another CD of old Hindi songs, "Damn now I would have to slow down," I thought to myself, before I went to sleep on the wheel.  "Kya hua tera Vaada" asked the stereo and I slowed down to have a drink of water, mentally thinking of what had I promised myself, that I would make this as interesting for her as possible, this was going to be our trip.  I patted her on the knee and pointed to a sugarcane plantation on the left.

We had slowed down and could see in the distant a sugarcane plantation, reminded me of an old Madhuri Dixit Hindi movie song, "Channey key khet mein", not that I was thinking of solving all my marital problems with a "roll in the haystack", though it was an interesting thought, however it would certainly make for an interesting team activity to jump over the rails and bite our teeth into some fresh sweet sugarcane.  She was game and we both got out, jumped over the guard rail and ran to the field carefully avoiding the traffic.  I plucked a cane out for her and one for me, and we ran back to the car, flush with excitement like kids.  I started the car before the farmers got a hint of our "nefarious" activity and ran down the expressway spewing dust, actually more likely "burning rubber", there was surprisingly very little dust on this expressway.

Once our stash was in the car, it was back to driving fast and furious, "I kinda like the movie," with music full blast, "Top of the World",  this sugarcane robbing duo, "not counting the lean mean fighting machine," churned up miles, singing and kicking up a hue inside the Safari, between munching on biscuits and chips and gnawing our teeth on Sugarcane, we reached the destination in the planned time, the Tata Safari had been superb and now it was time for another stroll, "this damn thing doesn't manoeuvre well in traffic," through the city of Agra.  Traffic, smoke and people all milling around made me wish the Taj was on the expressway rather than the city, "I mean, Shahjahan should have known".

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