This has been a day of mixes, one for instance I have tried to build it up to a crescendo, succeeded yet I have mixed feelings in my head. I am thinking of going away from all of it, there is nothing that convinces me that this life is going anywhere. I have tried just about everything to make it work and yet I am plagued by doubts. Have no friends today, no family, I move with a pack of strangers, its not been easy for the past one year and I am having second thoughts about the whole concept I have been trying to build for a year.
I have seen it coming, this feeling of utter helplessness as I am not meeting the people I should and for the first time in my life it doesn't matter anymore, I enjoy some days and then there are setbacks to the thought I try and build up where I discover people just don't understand me. This survival bit is getting me low and down, it would have been very handy to have someone with me who could think it through with me, today I am just like a university zombie, seeing, believing and then losing faith.
All my thoughts and concepts have been commercialised, what should have been mine is now somebody else, I am meeting more leeches than my kind, independent free thinkers.
Here's what I did last night, I wrote mail to one of the ftpmailers asking for information on a certain topic, reply : nothing here. I send another mail to altavista with search parameters asking for information on digital media, reply : found 644 links to the topic. Scanned all the links and figured what would be of interest to me would be 105 of them.
Host space.iit.del (18.75.0.10)
Last updated 20:02 22 Jan 2011
Location: /pub/mydir
FILE -rw-r--r-- 407040 bytes 19:55 28 Nov 2007 media scan.pdf
I used to read a lot of Archie's when I was young, the idea was fabulous, Archie, Betty and Veronica and Jughead to beat some sense into their heads. It was the very basics of characters, everyone had a role and they played the personality to the core. As characters became more advanced, they are now called avatars, the roles remained but their execution became more and more easy as we had GUI's to handle what the character would do, it had tools and skills that turned the avatar to genuine human emulators.
To Decode :
Archie's character was a complicated set of affair and required him to be simple, loving, humble and with shades of greatness, the toughest thing to achieve when recreating a comic book. If I fetch a comic from a local store, the 1997 version and the 2012 versions are drastically different, and I am in no position to understand them, to understand them I would require a translator of sought, somebody who played the character well enough to explain it to me.
To Unzip :
For a big character like Big Moose, it would be easy, just create a character that keeps it mouth shut and opens it only when there is aggression in the offing. Same with Ethel, she was easy to create
Conclusions :
Good Judgement comes with experience and experience comes with having made bad judgements.
I have seen it coming, this feeling of utter helplessness as I am not meeting the people I should and for the first time in my life it doesn't matter anymore, I enjoy some days and then there are setbacks to the thought I try and build up where I discover people just don't understand me. This survival bit is getting me low and down, it would have been very handy to have someone with me who could think it through with me, today I am just like a university zombie, seeing, believing and then losing faith.
All my thoughts and concepts have been commercialised, what should have been mine is now somebody else, I am meeting more leeches than my kind, independent free thinkers.
Here's what I did last night, I wrote mail to one of the ftpmailers asking for information on a certain topic, reply : nothing here. I send another mail to altavista with search parameters asking for information on digital media, reply : found 644 links to the topic. Scanned all the links and figured what would be of interest to me would be 105 of them.
Host space.iit.del (18.75.0.10)
Last updated 20:02 22 Jan 2011
Location: /pub/mydir
FILE -rw-r--r-- 407040 bytes 19:55 28 Nov 2007 media scan.pdf
I used to read a lot of Archie's when I was young, the idea was fabulous, Archie, Betty and Veronica and Jughead to beat some sense into their heads. It was the very basics of characters, everyone had a role and they played the personality to the core. As characters became more advanced, they are now called avatars, the roles remained but their execution became more and more easy as we had GUI's to handle what the character would do, it had tools and skills that turned the avatar to genuine human emulators.
To Decode :
Archie's character was a complicated set of affair and required him to be simple, loving, humble and with shades of greatness, the toughest thing to achieve when recreating a comic book. If I fetch a comic from a local store, the 1997 version and the 2012 versions are drastically different, and I am in no position to understand them, to understand them I would require a translator of sought, somebody who played the character well enough to explain it to me.
To Unzip :
For a big character like Big Moose, it would be easy, just create a character that keeps it mouth shut and opens it only when there is aggression in the offing. Same with Ethel, she was easy to create
Conclusions :
Good Judgement comes with experience and experience comes with having made bad judgements.
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