The memories are unending, and they go on and on for eternity, I heard this sound recently that reminded me of how people would wake me up when I was a small kid. I would be rocked and then called out to, my name never being mentioned, just mentioned in a light tone. It is this feeling of utter security and bliss that I got then, I was important to people, probably the most important person in their lives. Today, a grown up with enough of responsibilities and pains to encounter, I still hear certain sounds that are irrefutably my childhood days.
Take for instance, this friend I have who has stayed with me for days and years and his name continues to give me pleasure even when he is not around. These days I just break up in tears when I think of my life gone by, time has come a full circle, what I gave people I have got back. The memories are all real and vivid, so are the tears that flow today, I feel and emote for people like I have never before, I know this in my mind that if ever there was life it seems to have galloped away on a horse chariot leaving me behind to stare at the dust.
The days they are passing quickly now, almost as if they know that I am tired of living, the nights they end up at daybreak within a few hours, its like I am sitting on the top berth of a train to nowhere, in the night I keep typing and writing and working, sleep a few winks and am up again, the other people in the compartment stare at me, almost like wanting to talk to me but seeing me at work, give in to the endless chatter that humans indulge in. I am quiet, I would rather not talk, the one that I used to talk to is no longer there and these others bring me temporary relief, like a quick fix antibiotic.
Life is just breaking up, it is crashing, tearing apart, joining in all the wrong segments and areas and just about doing everything but whispering to me that I am a lost soul today. The pain I feel is terrible and oddly comforting because it gets me out of reality, my reality is even more terrible than any nightmare you could have had, my friend. The sorrows and grief in real I have encountered and felt my way blindfolded through their cave. Only the night gives me relief now, sleep, write and then some.
Brother, I miss you so much, can I see you sometime ?
Take for instance, this friend I have who has stayed with me for days and years and his name continues to give me pleasure even when he is not around. These days I just break up in tears when I think of my life gone by, time has come a full circle, what I gave people I have got back. The memories are all real and vivid, so are the tears that flow today, I feel and emote for people like I have never before, I know this in my mind that if ever there was life it seems to have galloped away on a horse chariot leaving me behind to stare at the dust.
The days they are passing quickly now, almost as if they know that I am tired of living, the nights they end up at daybreak within a few hours, its like I am sitting on the top berth of a train to nowhere, in the night I keep typing and writing and working, sleep a few winks and am up again, the other people in the compartment stare at me, almost like wanting to talk to me but seeing me at work, give in to the endless chatter that humans indulge in. I am quiet, I would rather not talk, the one that I used to talk to is no longer there and these others bring me temporary relief, like a quick fix antibiotic.
Life is just breaking up, it is crashing, tearing apart, joining in all the wrong segments and areas and just about doing everything but whispering to me that I am a lost soul today. The pain I feel is terrible and oddly comforting because it gets me out of reality, my reality is even more terrible than any nightmare you could have had, my friend. The sorrows and grief in real I have encountered and felt my way blindfolded through their cave. Only the night gives me relief now, sleep, write and then some.
Brother, I miss you so much, can I see you sometime ?
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