Bright Shiny Objects

"Good artists copy," said Pablo Picasso, "Great Artists Steal"

Now here lies the root to all creation.  This would obviously imply that God himself was a thief, after all him being the biggest creator or all times.  There is artistry in every  one of his creations, I was the other day at the National Museum and saw such beautiful creations of the human mind, that I couldn't believe that there was anything more beautiful God could have created than the mind.  Combined with the neurological sensor he gave us, and we have the ability to put into shape what our brains can only design.

Nothing better than good design to followup a thought process.  Its all in the design, if I wanted to sell software, then the first process would be a great design methodology followed up by a set of developers who would create the software.  Its all in the design my friend, and what better way to highlight than giving an example of what happened to the other day.

A group of people writing code are developers and a set of people designing software are called architects.  Meet Prabhu, one of the developers I work with, intricately detailed and meticulous person, very thoughtful about his software and everything in his life.  His hobbies were supposed to be geeky gifts, however this guy is an ardent reader and photographer.  Phenomenally gifted I would dare say he would benefit any organisation.

Deciding how to design has never been a problem, but remember the first time you tried to play Sudoku, getting all the parts together to fit, well, was it easy ?  For me it was, I did everything in the first go, I played the Rubik cube and all the mathematical puzzles, was in the maths Olympiad and won a medal.  My point being, so did that qualify me for Designer title.  Actually weirdly enough, if I had continued in the same vein, probably be a scientist at the Bhabha Atomic Centre.  What got me to this stage is the artist in me, I am poet and writer, I have seen life closely and though I believe that "life can never be a part of a systematic design", I see design in life.   For instance, the other day, I spoke to a team member with a drastically reduced productivity, so instead of analysing this the way a team manager would, I decided to do the one thing that nobody wanted to do.  I volunteered to visit the person at their house to see if all was well.

Thinking of the times that I have done things that I didn't want to, actually things nobody wanted to touch, is uncountable.  All my life seems to have gone into doing things that nobody has wanted to do.  Think of the time, when my sister was pregnant, I took care of her baby, or the time they wanted somebody in the house and all of them went partying, I was the one who did it, remember the time we took the kids partying and I stayed behind in the lawns to clean up the place.  Its always been me who does the dirty job.

Stable relationships could be a sign of either a near perfect loop or an infinite redundancy.  Check for instance what they did with Princess Diane, gave her a life of riches and a time to die.  She was probably the best there was amongst the monarchy - classy, royal, accessible and time limited.  Can you see me smirk in sarcasm at the last word there, I wish for people like her to be limitless, but their very usefulness makes them wear out soon.
Our time here is limited, make it count.

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The Break of Dawn

There is something going on around these parts, people are just not sane, take for instance this morning, somebody woke me up at 4:49am, the door bell rang and by the time I got to the door the person had already left.  Left my mind in a quandary, not that I don't get up early, I am a morning person and am up and running at around 5am or thereabouts.  Its getting colder around these parts and the cold has everything to do with wanting to sleep just a little bit longer, that last wink out of the twenty winks a day is the sweetest one.  The blankets are adequate to cover for the cold, in a few days I will be slipping under the duvets forgetting about my summer life and preparing myself for new tests ahead.

Speaking of tests I have been wondering what I could be doing come November, been writing to my hearts content for a while now and by the looks of it will continue to do so, writing is something that has given me immense pleasure, be it winter or summer I have continued in the same vein.  People have been criticising me for writing things that make them get up and take notice, friend of mine believes that I need to be more critical of myself and find out where my skills are as a storyteller.

Jarring noises are hard to fix in the morning, like a blaring horn or the sound of loud music can be disconcerting almost like the crow with the chatter of the myna bird and butterfly.  Butterflies I haven't seen for a while, I wonder where they disappeared to, though I hear the myna everyday.  When the sun is out and the green leaves have flowers overlying them, the butterflies used to make their appearance thoroughly surprising the on lookers.  The red and orange coloured ones as also the yellow ones with their small curvy wings flapping till they disappeared amongst the foliage probably to hover over another flower.

I have angels watching over me, and this ones particularly kind to me,  I live in a border town where the sound of shelling wakes us all up everyday and then it goes on through out the night.  The lull of the late night only gives way to more of it towards the early morning.  Romance is going out of my life listening to these sounds day in day out, almost like a thumb that sticks out they barge into our lives without any respect for the privacy.  Miss my friends now, in this place there is nothing to do except write, I am seeing a new facet of life, and it saddens me.
She laughs at me, God, you have to tell her she is mine.

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Straight From the Heart

Speaking of Khap Panchayats, what is the basic tenet behind the system, does the Panchayat require the sanctity of the villages or village elders before it can decide on the fate of a runaway couple.  Take for incidence, the logic behind the statement that came out a few days back that blamed the eating of Chowmein behind the incidences of rape, what came to me instantly was that Chowmein carts and alcohol go hand in hand and therefore it possibly means that when young guys, not to say that sexual misdemeanour is restricted to young men, have the aforesaid savoury they are bound to have alcohol and that would give them heightened sex related activity in their brains.  Its also been heard that Chowmein causes imbalance in the harmones, now all this may not be logical but there has to be reason why folks would malign this fantastic Chinese delicacy.

In all my life as a youngster in Delhi, friend of mine introduced me to Chowmein, remember the cart that used to be on the streets of South Extension, in fact there were two of them.  We would hop on to a bus everyday and take a 20 minutes ride to it, and share a plate of the now infamous Chowmein, a little bit of vinegar added for flavour and we would hog on the delicacy, everyday the same routine, dinner has been served and you shall have only Chowmein.  The cart owner was very magnanimous since he saw these two young guys coming in everyday, he would give us an extra serving on our plate and both of us would talk about his generosity on our way back in the bus.  The feel of Delhi of those days, especially in the winters was simply amazing and leaves me with a bitter sweet taste even today, bitter because I miss those days and sweet because I am proud to be associated with this city of those days.

Now going back to Chowmein and its non beneficial affects, I have a feeling that this has majorly to do with that yellow sauce they serve with it, it has a very sour taste and gives a very pungent smell almost of the kinds of gutter water, and the old folks who throng the cart especially like this sauce, if I dare suggest that you are old, not in the wrong way old, but old category,  you might want to try this sauce, and the correct way to do this is to go ahead take a spoonful and put the dip in your plate then using your fore fingers take a wholesome bit into your mouth, the smell should be slightly pungent and you should feel oddly uplifted and energised.  Then put your helping of the thin or thick long strings of the food that you are eating and sprinkle the sauce adequately all over, this should now energise your groins as well and you could be well on your way to the Khap misadventure.
Mind It, We Sell Poison too.

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Love Doesn't Come Easy

Delhi University has an amazing affect on ones psyche, the thoughts and patterns are unique to whoever has studied there.  Remember distinctly when I was there for a few months, everyone thought that Prince was the name of a dog and that Michael Jordan was no different from the famous MJ.  Speaking of MJ, Santana comes to Delhi or rather Noida, Delhi is too staid for any musician.  All we do here is just sleep and snore, no thunder and no roar.  Hey, doesn't that rhyme, isn't that what I was looking for all day today, the rhyme.  In the beginning there was the university and then came the faculty.  Once the faculty, consisted of some be-speckled and very traditional looking gentlemen and women, but looks are always deceptive and each of them had a story to tell.

Chemistry was never my favourite subject till I turned 16, and then the bells began to ring in my head, telling me all the formulas and bonds.  Didn't the valence bond of a carbon atom consist of 4 bonds formed with hydrogen atoms, or didn't Carbon Monoxide cause respiratory problems in creatures.  Chemistry, chemistry and chemistry was all that there was there in my mind till I saw the light of the day, it wasn't as much fun in reading as it was understanding it, I could fail the exams and yet still form bonds with the hydrogen atom.  These are the bonds that are most stable when under natural conditions.  Now take the example of the Hindu, a religion of compassion and tolerance, what happens when the average Hindu is pitted against the die hard enthusiasts, well he becomes immune to all that they bring into his life, the hardliners and the thrusters, because he/she himself is a go getter and that is not to take away from the basic tenets that say that "thou shalth compete when your own is at stake".

Now taking you away from chemistry and the philosophies of the average Hindu, and this would bring us to a friend of mine Stephen who is a Christian but like most modern men has no qualms of mingling with the other communities, of course there lies a condition that "thou shall inherit what I bequeath you", so if I brought along with me an apple pie, you must share it and say the Gods name Jesus.  Stephen doesn't believe in too much in God as he believes in sharing wine and Rum cakes, his thoughts like most Christians of his age in India is that he is above it all, as his brothers and sisters have seen it all in the West and also because of the literature that he reads he has this "Know it All" attitude.

The only reason that I speak of the Hindu and Christian is because I dare not drag you to the wars of the Khap panchayats of Haryana, my thoughts are restricted to what I see in my world and no more.  The Khap panchayats may actually ask for the head be shaved off a women for mixing with the opposite sex that the panchayat doesn't approve or perhaps even restrict young girls from skirts to schools and as always annul weddings that do not find its sanction and send out a dictat against the runaway couple.  Death doesn't come easy if you run against the Khap, they are perpetually on your tail and I fear I have spoken longer than I normally do and on topics that I might not know too much.  After who am I, just an ordinary citizen of the largest democracy in the world.
All is not well now, take care buddy

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Cake for the lady and a bouquet of flowers please

In so much as they would like to say, we are what are love make us.  I have been privileged to have known love and that to closely enough with a number of women.  By choice or otherwise, when the time is right, we just go ahead and wipe the slate clean, which is to say, I go ahead and forget my past heartbreak and look for a new love.  The last this happened to me was about less than a week, I was getting tired of my life, was looking for something to spice up life, thats when I spotted this smart young lady, talented, compassionate and very pretty to say the least.  It was just a matter of time before the past was forgotten, all my thoughts were wiped clean, and before long came this thought that this women by the looks of it could influence my life.

They come and they go as they please, care not for the hearts they break, it is just important for her today to feel loved.  And who am I to deny that, I will just go on falling in love again and again till the birds come home to roost and beyond that maybe to. Isn't it funny how well we know each other, despite that the fact that we have known each other only for a week.  In all matters of heart, infact I would say, in all matters go with your heart, walk with your heart over your head and you are going to be fine.

Where is this all leading to ? .. Isn't there anything called true love, true love exists in my dreams and thats where this is all leading to.  My dreams undeniably pull me towards them, everytime I relive a moment my mind pulls me inexorably to the thought, the gesture, the wish or the moment that just made the world look so real.  This is it, and truly speaking the moment of truth when you know that there is love after love.
Moments, and then some brother, you got some to share with me ?

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The Makings of a Modern Man

Haven't been as crazy as I was since I was growing up, and thinking about it, as friends of mine would testify there was nothing I didn't attempt.  I was stark raving mad!!!   I often wonder what made my mind tick, and as anyone would admit, it was a scary proposition to be the apprentice to people from different backgrounds, as scary as the confusion epitomised by "too many cooks spoil the bath".  So if S S Sharma ji would ask me to write novels and short stories, this other older friend of mine Juhi, a neighbour, would probably push me into maths, and my hockey coach Pargat Singh, wanted me to be a forward despite the fact that I told him I didn't run that much.  So caught between the trichotomy or maybe even a sought of a slumgullion of things, I chose a few things I was proud of doing.  So I chose physics over everything else and of course played cricket since I was told that I would be good at hockey.

Going back to hockey, it is a fine game, with twenty two men running and when I say running I really mean literally running against each other.  It is by far the hardest game I have played, has the roughness and toughness, and slick and sophisticated as well.  Having received some stick wounds on my knees and chin I know how rough it can get, even with a referee around, and I used to get thirsty as hell, running for 70 minutes non stop is fairly easy for somebody like me, but I believe playing hockey in those days may have turned me into a lazy bum.  Play at school and then just sit at home. Something I still follow today, work hard at work and come home and play the dead man.  I am emotionally too tired once I get back from work and no amounting of cajoling and coaxing makes me make a move.  I realise this may be only my mental block but it is something I enjoy.

An apprentice typically goes through a crisis often because of a direct confrontation with the master, is it true would you admit that if the apprentice is a good learner, may out pass the teacher in his / her chosen field.  Speaking of choices I would chose love over everything else.  Where and what has this love given me, probably nothing if you think about it, a poor lonely man trying to make it sound glamorous or chivalrous, or maybe if you think about it, gave me my world and continuous to gives me every time I fall in and out of love.  Women, they are just fantastic in their in the make up, is it the glasses of water that they drink that makes them cry so much or do they cry to get an emotional advantage over men, whatever it might be, I just love it today .... mmmmmmmmm
Sleep brother, because I got it all covered today.

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A Love Called Peace

When I take you on a ride,
Hang on to it with your life,

For I believe what sets
must come up the next morning

My son, I believe you are the one
who will take this bandwagon on the shores of glory

Trojan I have seen many
purpose they solve and methods they use
Only us today know where Cleopatra is
I will get her once my karma is done

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Under the Calm Veneer

Friend of mine, gora chitta jawan from punjab, thought about getting married, girls there were dime a dozen but he wanted a jatni.  If you understand what that terminology means, then you would just say, who wouldn't want to get married to a sikhni and that too a jatni.  Temperament wise they are wiser and strength wise strong willed women.  These are tigresses who will guard their territories with their sheer strength.  I think, the thought of marrying a sikhni came to him from his mother, when he saw her in action in a local grocery shopping mart.  There was a teeming crowd and what seemed like a millions of people just camping around with trolleys, kids hanging on to their mothers, husbands picking up rasna bottles and wives just moving the trolleys around.

Mom was far out in her attitude, she was kind and courteous and said thank you at the right moments.  Today, something was going to happen and it did when amidst all the happy noises, a kid starting howling, she was only 10 years or so and was virtually being run over by these trolleys with no one paying any regards to who was being crushed.  Suddenly I saw mom jump over a rail and pick up a knife and I really mean a sharp edged mutton knife and put it to the throat of one of the men who was ramming the trolley down the aisle.  His palor paled and she just stared him through, everybody stopped and the noises tapered off, amidst this pin drop silence, she told that man, "sikhni hain, aagey na aayin".  I am a sikh don't you dare go any further.
I might be a mother of two, but you touch my kid and I ll slit you throat.

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Open Your Heart

Friend of mine from across town has been staying in a rented accomodation for far too long, his longing to own a house of his own far precedes his desire to own a Mercedes Benz.  Given an opportunity he would jump at the opportunity to buy a house, it amazes me how this desire far outreaches anything we have want to do in life.  Own a house, decorate it, furnish it, with kids and wife playing around the feel of life running through my own property, it is really a lifelong investment.  Inviting friends would be so much easier if that happened, so would the very thought of spending say diwali in the cool confines or if it is cold in the heated confines of my own house.

I love the house, it gives me great pleasure and the ability to hang around at my own residence is simply amazing.  Diwali is a time when it all comes together and there is a lively festivity around, the streets buzz with music and there are the street food vendors who throng everywhere you head.  The sound is so pleasant, it perculates through the core of ones being, the kids out on the streets speaking the language of love, the parents enjoying their parties and hey lets not forget those saviours who give up their family life during these times, the cops and the armed forces guys who are extra alert during these times.

Remember that Diwali that turned havoc for everyone, it was the nightmare the soughts never seen before.  I was walking the streets of Karol Bagh with my wife and bang came the first explosion followed by the second one, had to scamper for our lives, just managed to run out of the vicinity before it became a disaster zone.  There cops everywhere, even the military had been called out for the protections.  No matter how hard one trusts the cops they are always doubts about who they are protecting, us or themselves.  Its always them first, the military on the other hand is much safer and gives for more reliability.  I was bundled into a military truck to climb the roads to safer havens as the explosions got out of hand.  It is no small feat that I escaped alive.

Then there are these days and there are those day, when my moods become unbearable for everybody, I am not your regular happy go lucky guy or maybe I am, but get those moods more than anyone else.  I am father today and my mother and myself, if that makes any sense to anyone, this game play is what we look forward to every night, trying to figure out who would be the first one to pop back into the enemies hand and then some.
Do You Remember Me, I slept with the enemy .... while you were watching TV

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The Winter Bias

There is this feel in the educated sundry that we are just that, educated and thus far insulated from everything that happens.  Take for instance this season, they expect the cold to be real harsh, I mean how many times must we hear from them, its like saying that the harsh cold has no meaning and that in any case it will very little affect on me.  All that I have to do is wear my warm coat and get a move on, expect the people on the street to take care of themselves.  Harshness of weather brings about a harshness of temperament, however the climate has this quiet sound to it.  But in the background there is a lot of stuff happening, like the winds are getting ready to blow, the sun is thinking about coming out or just going to sleep then there is the water that just freezes and refuses to give in to whatever meagre heat is around the vicinity.  All these factors and host of other activities in the winter account for natures animosity towards us.

The fight is on, mornings to get up and switch the geysers on, and then there are the lights to switch off and fan to seal, the aircons to pack and keep, and I am thinking where does that get me, I am just a humble human being, looking to make a living, winter strikes me as nothing new, what difference will it make if I go ahead and do all these things or just lie down and not get up for eternity.  This cold,who cares where it comes from as long as it goes aways once it comes, a warm blanket, do you suppose the blanket has bristles that will hurt me and actually what hurts me more is the heat trapped within the blanket, can't it at least come out and warm me up.  Man, this sucks.
Open up your heart, its just the life we live in.

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They All Know Me

I have this feeling that everything is going to be just fine today, these are precious thoughts and the feeling is undeniably great.  If I was to analyse my own thoughts right now, I would say, I feel comfortable, thoughtful and insulated.  There is this feeling of not being there and yet being there for all and sundry.  Did anyone ever play cricket, I was a champ at it, and that was just the beginning, hitting sixes and fours all around the park, even bowling a few quickies to get the batsmen moving on his feet.  Come to think of it my insulated feeling comes from having done that and been there, so when I wear a tie to meetings all I am thinking of is clobbering these folks with the same amount of vigour, and eventually crack some meetings and build some bonds, those are the thoughts for the day.  A meeting in the morning, a few feelers to clients and suppliers, another one that will happen once they are OK with the presentation that I have already made to them and you know that it isn't just about ties and coats to browbeat clients and competition but the fact that we are what we are.

All this marketing talk early in the morning is sending me in a tizzy right now, want to feel that the sales meeting for today are going to be all fine.  I have a friend of mine who needs to work out a strategy, a very big strategy today, has a lot of potential and I am sure something will come out of it.  If one was to look at how things have progressed -  presentation, engage customers and convert suspects to prospects that has been my strategy and it works all the time.  If I was to look at it this way, there are a million strategies that people employ, what works eventually is defined by what sells, that is all there is to it and that is all that people would have you to believe.

As I start my first meeting, my mind would be like going hyper thinking about all my friends who helped me reach here, a mental thanks to all of them while the client is still talking, gradual all the conversation about business would fade away and I would be talking about people and their lives, I love talking to people, it gives me this feel of having pushed my horizon.  Then suddenly tears would well up in my eyes and there would be a distinct feel of having seen the future, of knowing that the guy I am speaking to has been with me for a lifetime.  I feel so blessed today to have had all the friends over a lifetime who have stayed with me and continue to do so even today.   Remember those days of childhood when we would sit for exam study, all of us with our books open and writing notes and taking down points from each other.  Fantastic feel and till date the best feel ever.  The fights and the put downs, all so distinct in my memory, over and above the idea that there will be a time in a couple of hours that this meeting would be over and I would be free to move to the next one, where my thoughts would be diverted again to other people.  This is the life we live in today, it is driven by people who we talk to and feel good about.
Hold my hand brother ... let me guide you

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Did this really happen ?

Walked into this bar and found a million of thoughts hovering in my mind, I was on the run, had been for a while, in self proclaimed hiding.  My mind was going about what I had just heard, that there was this friend of mine who had died, there was noise but I didn't hear it, there were people but I ignored them, not deliberately but by default.  Where was all this going to lead up to, Pravesh had lost a son recently, Vipul his father, Anne's father had undergone a bypass and amongst others my mom was undergoing the worst torture of her life, a broken shoulder, bloated knees and a host of diseases that sound terrible.  There was only loneliness and despair around me.  My thoughts were mirroring exactly how these people felt.

I saw his son dance to music in the bar and got my thoughts back correct, just an insurance guy trying to drown his sorrows.  I saw myself as Satan in their lives, today whatever I touched crumbled and fell away, withered away, lost like the autumn leaves that fell down from the trees to be swept away in the morning.  Do autumn leaves turn golden brown in your location, I have seen it happen, especially when the sun goes down, there is smell of decay, switch on the heating please, it gets real lonely.  I need somebody to love, winters are almost upon, my life is like a piece of driftwood on a long stretch of the Brahmaputra, I hear his voice call out to me, beseeching me to come back and I am just losing my mind.  The voices get stronger with each moment, the shrill shrieks, the loud chatter and soft murmurs, all are as loud as the blaring music I hear riding my bicycle around the circuitous path.  Me ride a bicycle, yes man, that is the calling today, peace, brother just me and my thoughts going wild.
Living On My Own, a far out thought, and a distinct possibility.

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No Religion

Trouble in Paradise
Ain't nothing new

When the church bells ring
Their only thoughts to sing

Will he bring me a new thought
For I have seen his passion for newly bought

Ideas, they just roar at me nowadays,
Like cars flowing on the freeway

Life is more than a dream today
And I have to thank him for all that he has given me this Sunday

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And Words I Spun

They live a solitary life, almost like walking through life with utter disdain for the established thought process, wake up to calling of their own, money doesn't move them, the lure of the green lucre left once the eyes saw the truth, neither are they moved by relations, thoughts of love and life have been foresaken, what moves them is this feel that their life is on the move when their minds begin to open up and see the truth.  Druid Getafix was one such person created and roamed the minds of the young and old with his potions.  One potion for the weak and another for the one overburdened with ego.  Did he have a potion for the over awakened I wonder, for they see too much of light.  Once we see the voyeurism in our life its hard not to understand that today I need a fix for a "world that sees too much and hears so little".

Sleep brother, cause there are no sure shot fixes I have, I was drunk at 2pm in the afternoon, I have seen life with a high powered lens and I don't lie, I have spoken to the ants who you so casually crush under your feet, the mysteries of life lie open to me today.  There is a worry, in some circles, that this stupor that I feel today will get me to a place as yet unfathomed by the people known to me, but I do what I do because I saw the asteroid fall while you slept.  The traces of wonder are still with me when I saw the falling star, was I to make a wish or perhaps think and ponder on the trail it left behind of dust and light, all bright perhaps when the star was gone all that was left was the trail lit so bright for anyone to follow.
Magic happens everyday.

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Story of the Commercial Enterprise

I sell insurances and deal with a variety of customers who can't make up their minds, people walk into the store with a one-stop-solution kind of mental make up, not realising that insurance is of different kinds and the CASHBACKS we offer are unique.  Now somebody who sells LIC policies might be the perfect person to sell you plans and investment options but definitely not car or marine insurance.  One such gentleman actually not such a gentleman because he was known for his craftiness, as also his thoughts that ran the surface of the terrain like quicksilver, and a very good acquaintance of mine thought it better to sell them through digital media, he offered a lot of free discount COUPONS with the policies.  A whole lot of success accrued and still continues to happen, I met him through the traditional medium and it was phenomenal talking to him about his successes at work.

I didn't for instance, know much about insurance when I got into the business but as time

has gone by, I have been able to map a course through uncharted territories of different variety.  Remember the time I was to go survey a truckload of broken consignment that had travelled over 1500 KMs.  The consignment was broken almost up to 50% of its quantity.  The person wanting me to survey the quantity was the, then, sales manager of a large firm, I walked up to him and said, "Hi", and prompt came the reply "you are late sir".  I was late but then you travel parts of Delhi and its easy to be late for any appointment, come to think of it, late was fashionable here.

Speaking of fashion, just bought myself a pair of Gucci shoes and at a BARGAIN, I may say, you might say, I am in the vogue and very much a part and parcel of the jet setting crowd today.  I love it when they speak the language of brands, who won't, given the selling factor so largely inherent in the business.  From the Gucci's to the DKNY's to the Tissot, I even love Nike, wouldn't Michael Jordan just adore me.  He is one fashion ambassador who probably just doesn't give in, I have heard of him since I was a child and continue to hear about him still playing, an honest man with a body made of steel and the will of a lioness protecting her territory.

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Did you hear me cry ... when it rained and drops sparkled over fresh green leaves

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Total Exposure

What do you know, when I was young kid, Zeenat Aman was making it big in the movies, never was too much inclined towards Hollywood, it was always Bollywood.  Remember Zeenat babies to the Hema dolls and not to forget the cutie muslim chick Shabana.  They were all there, in our lives living, breathing sirens and then something changed it, it was time for the macho man image to re-incarnate in the form of Amitabh.  Honestly, I have never been a big fan of his, for me it was always the chocolate boys, Aamir-Rani combo or Sharukh-Kajol pairing and today  the Salman - Sonakshi pair.

Tere mast mast do nain, now if somebody doesn't like that they must be stark raving crazy, not that I don't mind the raving terminology but the crazy portion of the phrase takes me back to childhood and then the thought of my parents and what they do me rears up.  They aren't too bad but then that's their thoughts, they were horrid, ugghhh and downright tyrants as far as I am concerned.  Don't back out from a confrontation even now, if they tell me something I don't like they get it back like a olive topping on a cheese capsicum dominoes pizzas.

Speaking of pizzas, do they serve them better at Dominoes or Pizza Hut, I much prefer my pizzas to be thin base and with lively spicy toppings, a'la the lull before a storm, once you put it in your mouth the taste hits you first and then it settles down to a cool savoury hot choco fudge of the host and of course there is no need to leave.  I like my pizzas to be fighters, to give the taster a taste of the lives they lived preceding the first bite.  Come to think of it, if there was a pizza man who didn't like me it was the gentleman who delivered some last night, a paltry Rs 5 for a tip, hey man, what are you trying to do, I have more respect than that.  Respect be damned man, my pocket is as pickled as yours today.
Who are you pushing man, a Broken Heart is harder to mend than your Ferrari.

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Do Chocolates have Side Effects

Friend of mine Simran ran into trouble the other day, she had packed her luggage to shift to a new house, rented of course, her husband was divorcing her. I helped her pack the luggage and arranged for a truck/tempo and before you know we were on our way.  The luggage had taken an incredibly long time to pack, as all women would vindicate, there were a myriad of small things to take care of ranging from a lipstick to an eyeliner to a nail file and then not to mention the clothes.  "Shoo Shoo Shoo .. leave them alone", and the undergarments were pointed at, as I packed the blouses, pants and skirts and rushed out as the doorbell rang. It was the maid coming for her final settlement, and before you know a well settled bank balance was already dwindling.

Simran had lived an unusual life, a strong, almost like me, a headstrong person and if she didn't have long hair, she would be or rather was my identical twin.  A loving and caring person with so much to give that even the cold heart melted at the thought of her.  Today she was in trouble and I was somebody who wouldn't let her down, not that I haven't let down people, but this is one person I will not let go and neither debase and abuse or fail.  The house was a pretty apartment, yet to be furnished but with lots of potential.  I loved the way she moved the curtains away to let sunlight in, it wouldn't be difficult for a man to fall in love with her, I of course was a buddy, and wanted to see her happily settled into a life that she deserved.

People like me want love and lots of it to live their lives, when life comes running to us we embrace it with all our strength, a strong hug is what I gave her as she turned around from the now opened curtain.  How I had come to meet her is a thought stranger than fiction, we were travelling by plane and had started chatting up, she had mentioned that an air hostess had been staring at me for longer than usual, she had the intuitions of a small girl child and same playfulness.  I just wished for her to be as happy as a small girl with a barbie.  As I flipped through her album of her childhood, I saw hope and happiness, the kind that comes from a life yet to be lived, there was a very pretty one of her holding a doll, I could have picked her up and twirled her around right there, this was the doll I had always wanted as a daughter that I didn't even have today.  Tears welled up, have always a hard time once the thoughts overwhelm me, and she just stared at me in stunned wonder then put a hand out and wiped a droplet away.
Just you pretty baby, my life on a platter for you

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Just Another Day

Did this incredible amount of work today, got a few photographs clicked for my articles, did research on my posts, looked up a few friends, talked on the phone and all in all its been a good day.  Thinking about a day as it passes by, I find it hard to believe that anyone could think of wasting days, these days are quick to pass by and believe me the nights are even faster.   Lonely days make for lonelier nights, do you think I am getting older now ?

I love to write and express what I feel, so if I have had an event in my life it will find its footprint on this blog.  So what happened today .. you might ask .. just the same got ready for work and then thought otherwise, there was too much of work as it is, so started getting busy and by the time it turned 10pm I was thinking to myself, maybe I just need to relax a bit, snapshots of life I have got plenty and thats where I am coming from, a few friends here and there are like a couple of pegs of Johny Walker right in the dead of the moment.

I have always been a fine finisher of things, don't get pushed too easy, I am a fighter and liver of my dreams.  Hey ! wasn't that you the other day who popped into my dreams, I have been waiting for days for your entry and when you did my eyes just popped open.  Speaking of pops my pop's been all gaga about what I do nowadays, not that this is something I am gaga over, where there is a pop there will be a mom and I am not so much a believer in either of them.  I am just a shoulder to cry on for most of these folks and I am trying to see if there is an alternative shoulder they can lean on as I leave for my travels as a journeyman writer.
How did life change .. I hold the key to tomorrow

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I did it

I do what I do and am proud of it
I know what I am doing,
There always is a first step to take
Then life opens up to its myriad possibilities

If my heart just broke today,
maybe it was just another day for you

I survived because I know today
you never meant it
just a child playing games
what more can I say

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Musings of a Broken Heart

There is deep chasm in my heart today,
Probably a making of the variety in life

Choices that I have, things I evolve,
Are all that I have for you

Cut through life like butter,
hand over the scarf to Satan

Say thank you when the story endeth,
For all I got in return was pain

The way of life is to cut short the pain,
The easiest path is often the only path

I still will to make my own way,
And fight to live another day

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When Individuals Start To Have Fun

Pictures and Pictures, its like a lightweight movie that runs through my mind as it combines processes and images of the past to give me a comprehensive perspective of who I am today.  Last night when I slept, I dreamed of my life in a past life, who thought of me and who didn't, who abused me and who didn't, my mind is like a childs mind today, if I get shouted at a multiple times, my refuses to let anyone in, refuses to listen to anyone and in the process stops learning.  Learning by nature is an intrinsic part of our lives, we live because we learn, the day we stop learning we stop to live.

There is this metaphor that comes to mind and that is of two paradigms promulgated around by one of my favourite mentors


               Men Die                                        Men Die
               Socrates is a Man                         Grass Die
               Socrates will Die                         Men are Grass

Everything that can be said is in this.  The first is an "Item" based philosophy and the second, which I likes a bit, is a poets philosophy.  Men are poets by their very nature.  We write and speak because we want to.  Technical data as an when it becomes available talks about theories and philosphies of various people, how they formed it and how people accepted it and how long it took for acceptance. I am a firm believer that my life is very much a poets life, my heart takes precedence and write poems and short stories in the hope of connecting the dots for businesses.  Nature is one of the largest connects that I have today, I see businesses evolve and I see them working towards getting money to the generated causes.

Didn't I tell you I am lost without a cause, every morning there is a cause that I work towards, what will it be today ?  Will it be the thought that somebody was depressed in my life in the morning, that must be corrected or is it the thought of where this business takes me today.   I have written and seen lines of code and how they are processed and continue to do so even today.  Occassionally, there might be variance in my judgement but I do come back to the plan as charted by my personal mission statement.
We are Students and Trainers in interchangeable roles.

Excerpts from : The Tao of Physics

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Laugh A Little

I have to come to believe over a period of 3 months now that the heart is the source of it all.  Everything we believe we live is a reflection of how we feel in the heart, we are what our emotions are.  Remember the time when I told you that this life gives me nothing, or that I am tired of it all, it is a reflection of how I am in my heart, if my heart bleeds I feel everything that my emotions bring me to.  I continued to live my life in my mentally secure model and found to my bewilderment that I was losing out on friends, family even work colleagues.  Normally when people feel emotions they say my heart is feeling down, and that is precisely what it is.  Make friends now buddy, for you are living with your heart now.

This morning when I got up I had this heavy feeling in my mind, and I said could that be signs of depression, until I stepped in for a bath and suddenly realised that my heart was beating and pumping energy at high speeds.  Too our credit this realisation dawns on us within half hour to one hour of getting this feeling and there is an immediate understanding that the mind is probably somewhere else, my heart feels fine and so I am alright.  There is a fascinating tale of one of my friends who rides a car and undergoes an emotional catharsis.  He recounts that when he rides alone there is no one with him and his emotions well up as he remembers his life and the mistakes that he has made, or this feeling of rememberance of friends who he cares for who still remember him.  He just loves it, on the other hand, if he were at work he is stone cold and totally concentrating at work.

My point being it is alright to laugh and cry at work as well, infact this post goes out for all my emotionally intelligent and lovable creatures who live their lives in their heart from dusk to dawn.  We are creatures of the world, we emote so we are, so they are, we must talk and feel it in the heart.  I am a firm believer that my heart is in place and there is nothing that will take that away from me.  I live this life believing that there will be a time that we will continue to make our dreams come true, after all what is a dream as compared to our combined vision of reality. Aren't we getting too carried away with this thing too far, man, and I say this world is of my making today.
Choose your words carefully, for they decide your fate

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The Seeker

Brothers and Sisters, there is a desire me to perform right now, I have this feeling that I have just peaked without any others involved in reaching the pinnacle.  That itself is a great feel, not that peaking with a team is not great either, however to be able to do it on your own is just a fantastic feeling.  I am in the middle of this meeting and my mind is drifting away to the past, when I worked for another company in another time.  Times were different then, talking to woman or getting friendly with her was construed  as or might have been construed as harassment.  Those era's when you got stared at if you associated with a woman or did anything so called unusual like holding hands or a casual arm around the waist.

Even then I had this wild streak in me, smoking and drinking, god knows what all, and of course I was a part of a rock band, or let me put this way that she was responsible for me joining up with a group of people who were free spirited, wild and carefree.  Probably just about the time the Bonny M and Abba landed in India with their brand of music, we of course paid little regard to that, were more bothered with the Santana's and Clapton's and it was gorgeous as days would go by with guitar in hand and moving to the rhythm of "The Black Magic Woman".  Brother, I was particularly in love with "Layla", and got to sing it at every opportunity.  These were the days of magic when every thing we sang to, we lived it up, parties and night outs, to boys night outs, it was touche', just what I wanted from my life.

My life has always been constant, we have lived the same free spirited life no matter who or what came by, troubles or happiness hasn't changed it one bit.  The amount of stress I endure now is a tribute to what my songs have prepared me for.  Even the death of loved ones hardly shakes me.  I feel blessed to have lived thus far and in this way, it might get a shade lonely occasionally but that's the way I am and that's the way I want to live.
In Love and Believing that is the only way to Live.

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In and Out of a Dream

The thought of a blue day makes me so tremendously happy nowadays, the thought of working towards making a day soulful and lonely is what gives me happiness.  I have mentioned in my previous posts that I get blank in the morning without an adequate cause, I do tend to of course have my own thoughts on how to build my day, but I love the thought of walking up to a stranger and saying, "hey, don't I know you from somewhere".  I do, I do, didn't I see you in the coffee shop the other day, weren't you reading a book, didn't you have this thoughtful look on your face, weren't you telling me to look at you, you had your eyes lowered but weren't you telling me something even then.

Its like those old movies, the black and white ones, where the woman goes coy and shy, demure and yet oddly daring.  Then when I did make the move, you were like, don't and yet gave in after persuasion as an after thought.  I want to dance with you stranger tonight, dance till the rhythm runs out, talk and talk the whole night through.  The rhythm is all we have got and then some, if there is rhythm and I am in my environment, I will make my day.  The all important theme, RHYTHM, where do I get that from, its built in when I open my eyes, I just know that there is something here for me today.

We are weirdly in love, even though I have known you for a few hours, is love so flimsy or is this what love truly is.  I live for the day today, and you, my words, you live for the hour.  I find that cutely fascinating and I think that is what love is.  To love life and take it on whatever terms.
I think I may be in love again

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This Life Gives me only Pain

The worlds coming to an end I think, or atleast there is a whole lot of sad news all around me, its like a death here and death there, there are also a million people who seem to be sad around me, not to mention me who is always in an off mood nowadays.  There have been atleast 4 deaths in the past month which is quite depressing, one for instance, if a death a week keeps god away I would be quite enamoured with the idea, what however has happened is that the gods that might be, decide that I need to be happy even with all tragedies around me.  My life just flashed by last night, all my friends are gone, probably were just waiting for the right to leave, folks are all happy without me, and guess what, I have nothing to live for right now.

Friend of mine from Punjab, met him last night, all havoc happening in his life right now, his dad had an accident and passed away on the Jalandhar highway, had spent  2 week at home and then got back to work.  Moms anyway lost her head over the death, sisters are all crying and it all makes for a pretty depressing affair.  Work never ends and there seems to be no dearth of people who want to make life miserable for me, despite the death, I have to get back to work.  Losing a father, is like losing your best friend, somebody who was a mentor when I was young and now a buddy.  I am going to miss him terribly, I know life will go on, but there is precious little a precocious son can do about his fathers death.  Dad, always hail and hearty, was a hard working Punjabi, who made it big in the retail world and I am just following in his footstep, he said, son, don't do what everybody does, don't follow me, just do what your heart dictates.  I have I think done just that and I know my way around this sea called life.

We are manipulative people all of us, we do a lot of things that our conscience would not allow under normal circumstances, however do manage to get out of this by calling on the lord almighty as our saviour.  All Gods must be crazy to carry burden during their life span, they after all are the Gods.  They must keep their tempers in check and are normally thoughtful and intelligent creatures.  Like I have mentioned in my previous posts, I don't particularly get along with God too well, and right now he seems to be taking away my loved ones from and seems to be fighting, forcing and cajoling me into doing something I might think twice about under normal circumstances.
Please, Can I have the freedom to do what I want

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Life in Edit Mode

Good and Evil resides within me, have seen the darkest days when things wouldn't go right, there were people dying all around, there was no thought of right or wrong, it was only a question of survival.  Even the good died when the all mighty sword swung through in an lightening arc.  Man Made tragedies are plenty nowadays, ever thought why the giant lakes overflow or why the floods happen all across, incessant rain like never seen before, people even seem to suggest that they had seen multi headed monsters the nights it rained non-stop.  Trains, buses all came to a stand still as people huddled up in boats and on terraces to stop themselves from drowning.  I have seen it all, trust me, you know my name.

Last week, in a conference organized by Oracle, I saw them demonstrating softwares, the oracle trademark is a fantastic piece of software, millions and millions of line of code that is robust and doesn't fail.  Breakpoints happen all the time when we code, as we break in and break out of executables, have been a hardware guy for a while and now writing code is getting easier and easier.  So I run the executable, and when a breakpoint occurs, do I just break into the code ?  Is there any other way of breaking in, there is one thought that occurs to me, if I was to put a breakpoint just before the executable goes to the critical phase, I would be in, and have the ability to modify the code at runtime.  There are myriads of softwares available nowadays that actually allow to do this.

A very important utility is a hex editor, something that allows me to see the code units in hexadecimal.  Now this may seem like a very novice approach but is very useful when one gets down to testing and debugging the software.  Friend of mine who is an expert in this and has spent a lifetime doing this and died a few years back lived his entire life on code, he was brilliant to say the least.  He did seem to suggest to me once that the best way to deal with code is to just have patience, software needs to run its own course.

As they say, that the whole of life is about having patience, about the journey and not the destination, what we learn during the journey is much larger than the destination.  After all what is a destination, it is just a goal and the goal has no concept except a mutual agreement point where every thing culminates.  Eventually if one was to look at it from a relativity point of view there can be no validity of the destination, we could be reaching point A when we needed to reach point B.  So we just go about from destination to destination waiting for an idea to pop into our head.
I say we stay on this today

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I am not perfect

I am changing and evolving, people insist that this isn't me, I just believe I am changing because I have to.  The more I change the more I believe I am less than perfect.  God, send me here to give me a reason to live, years have gone by and when nothing seemed to work I found the reason to change.  You are the reason that I changed, you are not with me, but the reason to change was you.  I bring this thought deep in my head again and again, I can lead my life alone, but I am going to turn this juggernaut around into something that will bring beauty and spring in your life.  This much I promise that all this that you see today is just you.


I am so proud to have known you and your family, I have known all of them and love them as my own, from the lonely girl who walked the streets in search of coffee shops to the talkative young boy just growing up to be man.  Its just lovely all your folks, I wish them to be mine, in a modern day terminology, I wish them to stay with me, to know me as I was and as I have been.  There will be a chance, I know that, nothing is lost till its really over, and there is a fairly large chance that something will happen.

The other day, I was sitting down and musing about my life in this city, and the thought of going to the blue frog or that lovely coffee shop in the corner or even the pastry shop on MG road, there is no better place than what we got today.  The golgappas taste awesome as ever, even the channa bhatura's have stopped giving indigestion and that coffee shop near the metro station is just awesome with new sitting.  Who do I live for them, these moments that give me so much of pleasure, walk to the park, never been so fit as I am today, moms always screaming at me if I am not her, its just the perfect relation, sis is the strongest support system i have today and then some.
Did you miss me, I am just a text away.

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Search and You may not find it

I have lived a life of isolation for a while, when a loved one goes away, the thoughts are rapid and then slow and then the mind just doesn't give up.  Did I just see you the other day, talking to this other guy and wondering whether you feel the same with him.  I know I have cried the tears, my heart is lonely today, I just know you are right for me, this thought though doesn't go away that I have lost you.  There are different varieties of people that I meet today, there are the gregarious lot, pretty similar to what I am and then there are the introverts, there are also the folks who haven't really made up their minds.  To my mind there are only one kinds of people for me, the introverts who run this world.

Friend of mine, a translator, a Spanish Translator actually did just that, walked out of a relation,  pushed her parents who loved her so much away and walked into a new life in Spain.  A year or so in Spain and she came back sparkling new.  I feel the same today, this feel of having lived a multitude of lifetimes has gone away.  Its almost I have been washed clean by the pain in my heart and the tears in my eyes.  Revolutionary, this thought that I may have actually converted from a soldier to a lover.  But it does occur to me, I cry the tears that no one has.

I am a person today who doesn't seek to be understood, as a matter of fact, I think very few people understand me today.  There has to be reason for a conversation and I talk and talk to people who think they understand me and then come up with the most illogical of questions, that lends me to believe that the whole topic may have been in vain.  Then the questions start to come, and I have a hard time avoiding them being as indirect that I am today, life may just pass me by.  But I am content in the person I am, I think I am finally coming of age, and even if that is not true, what the heck, we tried didn't we and then failed.
No one was with you, no one will be with you.

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Its a Beauty

Working for a software development firm is never easy, many a sips before the cup reaches the mouth.  I have seen developers slogging over the computer, writing or rather typing and typing what appears cryptic to the ordinary bystander.  After all, what would an "*" or a "(" or a "#" mean to somebody who is used to ordinary texting, so if I was to type #23412 it would give me something on the screen, how is that possible, these geeks must be really nerdy, the dark screen brings up something with no pictures on it, and these guys love this screen.  How is it possible that when I press this ordinary looking button all hell breaks lose.  Just a program baby nothing else to it.

Programming is a grossly over rated, glamorous task, its boring dull and very routine.  Once you know what to do with it, its easy and very intuitive.  Just the other day I wrote a program, was it two weeks back, to enable/disable the USB ports on my laptop.  See the point is, I love my laptop and it loves me back, so when it tells me that I don't like this USB device disabling and enabling my port, I just wrote a program to solve the problem, fetch the code, hook on to the device manager, and make sure the power is never off from the USB port.  Easy and works like a beauty.

There is the women I know, she is really of Chinese ascent, she writes these beautifully immaculate programs, somebody who takes joy in the beauty created by her hands.  Its tremendously lovely to see her at work, almost like creating a work of art.  She loves her job, been trying to convince her to move into sales, see I have been in sales for about 3 years and loving it now.  I know she would love it too, there is nothing that beats trying to sell what one has created.
We are just sales people, we have to talk.

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The Lull before the Storm

Was in the middle of a very strong breeze the other day, there had seemed to be too many of these dull days when nothing seemed to happen.  People who seemed to be walking away from life, there was a feeling of deep depression all around as everyone who wanted something from life felt their life had just halted.

The time had come to move on, the feel was there, there was also something that I felt had to be done.  But these memories would not leave me, we were just meandering around a bend of a river, the water was just slow and slow and slow.  The trawler had a few hundred people in it, and all of them with the same dull feeling, partying and yet not caring.

My life was at crossroads, I was tired of people who I had known for a long time, there was a feel of absolute tragedy in my life, all I felt was this ache in my heart and the longing.  I did then, what I thought was the best thing I could have done, I took a vast leap, traversed a bridge that buried the sorrow deep and brought my life back.  It wasn't as if there was much to say, but I said what had to be said.  My friend, our lives are over and there will be no more of you and me and the togetherness we have felt for years and decades. Only if you want it back will your life come back to you.  It really is no laughing matter today, that I am free to do as per my will.

I am a self made person today, I live a life of freedom, it wasn't so earlier, when I was enslaved in sorrow that is a totally a man made phenomenon.  Must admit however that this ache that I feel in my heart, I am the cause of it, even thought I  love it to the hilt.  The rivers slow and meandering as they may seem today are the cause of greatest joy to me.

Friend of mine believes she has the mantra to everything, met her at Hindu College, and have thoroughly admired her for her all her patience and tact in handling situations.  She of all people, would be the first to admit that most things in life need patience and handling, especially in matters of love.  Love is so specially and so remarkably uncommon that we could continue to live the life we live without experiencing it.

Met this strange guy at the pub the other day, had more daring and emotional understanding than anybody even remotely close to me.  Don't go by the faces, look for the feel, the thought, the eyes and the pain behind the pleasant smile.  We all may think we are lonely, but we truly aren't alone, there is somebody in the background doing all the thinking, loving and emoting.  I truly hope its you my friend.  But then come to think of it, man made tragedies are more common than natural ones, a heart broken here or there, trust shattered for a few pennies, and what have we got a process and system that brings people to lonely thoughts and seemingly unbroken cycle of repetitions
I believe Sister

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I Have Designs on You

A thought while I was getting dressed for the day, Alan Watts, that I so mention as somebody whose writings have influenced me so much was just that, a radical thinker, far removed from the theories of the world.  He would conceive and write, edit and test and write again.  When he was born the existing theory of the world said that there has to be said be balance between Newtonian and Einstein's physics.  As life evolved for him there has been a gradual shift towards Einstein's law.  Thoughts flow into my mind at random, its very much like the world wide web.  If a link is clicked, it takes the observer away from the existing theory.

I have seen a million lives too, I have seen my parents fight for their survival and each others individual identities, we are really not alone in this world and the guiding force be whatever will certainly bring things into balance.  Coming back to where I was, there is the Einstein's theory that brings joy to me, moving from thought to thought, idea to idea as my mind explores the length and breadth of an idea.  So if I my father he was the leader of the band, he soon came around to another opinion that of my mother, wasn't she working as well, didn't she have a right to voice out legitimate opinions.   Einstein's theory is just that, "Relativity", the thought that everything exists with respect to another point is space, there are no dimensions, no fixed coordinates, only a feel tempered by the fine sword of logic.

I wonder why I discourse all this here today, people seldom understand what I say, and I believe there will be very very few people who will truly understand this post.  Relativity till date is something hard to fathom, but to my mind the way forward.  Friend of mine, from school, told me that he loves to listen to me, so I spoke to him for a couple of hours, and at the end of couple of hours when I thought he would have understood what I was trying to say, and closed my discourse and asked for questions or comments, there was an absolute blank look and questions that didn't even get to the basics of all.  When the questions started coming in, I was just a thought away from avoiding them but then gave in and answered all of them in the traditional way, but by then the paradigm had shifted to Newtonian one.
Its just the world we live in - there is nothing else

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All Part of the Game

I believe there might have been a time in my life when I would have been heavy handed with certain people.  The last few months, have not been easy, I have had to deal with a host of people who have landed at my doorstep in search for succour.  I have my own way of dealing with it.  Last evening I was on the road, the madness of Delhi was disconcerting, I was on my way to work, this guy just wanted to fly over me, now I am not somebody who would normally resort to violence, but the loud blaring horns, and there are like multitudes of them, and all variety from the shrill shreaks to loud dull thuds of the hammer, were getting me annoyed with nerves on frayed edges.  Normally I would have just ignored them and gone ahead with my drive to work which interesting is a very interesting one of about 35 kms.

I stopped the car and got down, opening and then closing the door with a thud, otherwise I didn't make a noise as I took a few quick steps, was stopped in the middle of the road at a traffic intersection close to the famous Qutab Minar, with a Red air conned Delhi Traffic Corporation bus to the right.  This gentleman was there sitting in a Honda car right behind me, he had been trying to get past me by the sheer might of his larger car.  It occurred to me that he looked very educated in a coat/blazer, probably a tie too, though I don't remember too clearly now.  As I approached him, there was  a look of disdain on him, he wanted me to move my gaddi out of the way so that he could hurry on his way.  I am not too big, just about 6 feet but I must have looked formidable to him because he refused to roll down the windows, finally when I did, his disdain had turned to scare, he was mumbling something about decency and right the language that I must speak.  Thats when it occured to me that I was abusing him, instinctively I grabbed at his neck, he tried to move away ineffectually, but finally seeing the docility of his act, I let him go with a stern warning.

This is probably the only time in my life I have got distracted enough to get into a jam of the personal variety on the road.  Violence of any kind is brutal and quick, when it happens, it leaves us dumbstruck and with a load of injuries to remember.  People go about their lives without too much of a thought to the stick and carrot theory.  Care to believe that there is a distinct possibility I reformed a driver that day without much ado.  Do you believe I can start a reformist movement around these parts, maybe a man on a mission, a vigilante cop kind of outlook.  I frankly, quite fancy the idea, the undercover cop and all that.  Though personally I fancy the "undercover" more than the "cop" part.  But then what do I know, I am just a humble citizen to the largest democracy in the world.
No Guts No Glory, No Balls No Story 

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